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Teen Poetry #9
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Freeing Passion (Please Read!!)
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Freeing Passion (Please Read!!) |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
I was alone like a warm day in the artic. Passion pulsed passively through my veins. It gave me a paining such as arsenic. For pain was the outlet that so far reigned. A chilling break came from releasing the spirit so restricted inside my skin through recording thoughts and feelings in discussion, with paper, from my pen. Oh, the rain did crash from eyes so strained! A hermit filled with desire that must be revealed. Passive passion still pulsed, now tearstained, waiting for someone to steal the desire I concealed. Along came a hot season in the iced land, unveiling the secret wishes of many suitors. Still, none with equal passion offered their hand. The tears fell harder with feather-like ruptures. Running backwards into my cold forbidden premieres. I needed one place where the passion could emanate from my veins into the world so frozen in fears. Then, I heard your voice. A distant delicate vibrate. My sprint reversed its direction trying to reach you. Circles turned to triangles through weeks of stress. Hoping to find a love that was true.Yet, I had no clue to how easily you could see my suppressed distress. I kept pressing on in my quest for your heart. My passion leaked out and you finally agreed. In this world soul-mates exist from the start. I’m yours. You’re mine. Together we’re freed. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Michaela J. McHone - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Oh. My. God!!! This is like the longest poem I've read from you but its one of the best!! Library for sure!!  -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Thanks Zach! I needed something to express how I've felt for so long in this world and it turned out being very long. I couldn't say it without making it long. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to read it.  Much Love, Michaela |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Wow, this is really good, you should learn to write using some kind of meter in your poems, your poetry would become absolutely amazing if you did. I totally loved this, tho. With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Ummmm, I really have no idea what meter is actually. Think you can help? Lol... |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
My sprint reversed its direction trying to reach you. Circles turned to triangles through weeks of stress. Hoping to find a love that was true.Yet, I had no clue to how easily you could see my suppressed distress. wow really my favorite part. i loved this entire piece though. i must have read it twelve times. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Wow!!! Twelve?? Dang...Lol I'm glad you enjoyed it so much |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
I can only help a lil, since i'm still learning myself. With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Oh ok lol |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
WOW, so your the new miss popular in and around this place. Your rhyming, to me, was off, felt forced in places. Considering nobody else has metioned that it's probably just me and the flow was a bit dodgey as well. Keep Writing |
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nina1522 Member
since 2009-02-14
Posts 189 |
i think some of the vocabulary was forced and i believe that the flow could have been a little bit better. but it was good. good job gothcherry |
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