Teen Poetry #9 |
Roaring out |
gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
Today I’ve learned more about you What color your eyes turn in the sun’s first rays The songs you love to play The words that felt so real Echoing with a meaning They gave me a drive to find you The reason I seem to be lost now The reason I can’t find you It’s not my fault no one knows I exist I’m just an imaginary wall with to many excuses Is it possible for any help? Or is this the last chance to find you? So many reasons I can’t give because they seem to be meaningless You seem to really love old Jim K. The heart ache it gives me won’t go away My blood keeps roaring out my veins The cold of the night has filled me Without the moon I have no light The guide I needed was never lit The torch you gave me hasn’t went out I’ll find you even if it takes an eternity |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
I think that you started out very well. I especially liked these lines: "Today I've learned more about you What color your eyes turn in the sun's first rays The songs you love to play The words that felt so real Echoing with a meaning" But you kinda lost me at: "It's not my fault no one knows I exist" It's probly just me, but it just didn't seem to flow right... Anyway, thanks for sharing! There is power in the pen. |
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