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Teen Poetry #9
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gdcod2player
Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117


0 posted 2009-02-09 05:40 PM


Today I’ve learned more about you
What color your eyes turn in the sun’s first rays
The songs you love to play
The words that felt so real
Echoing with a meaning
They gave me a drive to find you
The reason I seem to be lost now
The reason I can’t find you
It’s not my fault no one knows I exist
I’m just an imaginary wall with to many excuses
Is it possible for any help?
Or is this the last chance to find you?
So many reasons I can’t give because they seem to be meaningless
You seem to really love old Jim K.
The heart ache it gives me won’t go away

My blood keeps roaring out my veins
The cold of the night has filled me
Without the moon I have no light
The guide I needed was never lit
The torch you gave me hasn’t went out
I’ll find you even if it takes an eternity

© Copyright 2009 gdcod2player - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
1 posted 2009-02-12 02:28 AM


I think that you started out very well. I especially liked these lines:
"Today I've learned more about you
What color your eyes turn in the sun's first rays
The songs you love to play
The words that felt so real
Echoing with a meaning"

But you kinda lost me at:
"It's not my fault no one knows I exist"
It's probly just me, but it just didn't seem to flow right...

Anyway, thanks for sharing!

There is power in the pen.

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