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Teen Poetry #9
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Colors
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Colors |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN 
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im looking and looking for the answers that are o so hard to find but i cant give up hope i must see the horizon send away send far away i can see the colors from reds and blues to all other hues they escape for comfort they feel safe i feel so safe when the fire burns brighter stay awake lets stay awake we can count the stars say its true i need to hear it from you tell me, tell me your secrets little letters and long lost notes are the reason we're here now ~ you cant run from yourself ~ [This message has been edited by Clockwork_Orange (02-08-2009 05:42 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2009 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
This is pretty good. All I'd have to say is you misspelled a couple words. "oh" and "so" were the words I think. But over all good.  -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
so is spelled right. and i was just too lazy to put the h in oh. i figured people would understand. ~ you cant run from yourself ~ |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Every time you repeated a phrase, it felt like a need for reassurance. The overall tone seemed hopeful? Anyway, the main thing that stood out was how the whole thing flowed. There is power in the pen. |
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