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Teen Poetry #9
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Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal

0 posted 2009-02-05 07:59 PM


Tagged by Standards...Now I'm It.

Lately, I'm
so passionate.
Wrapped up, like an assembly-line gift box,
in all my thoughts.
My doubts.
My hurt. My love.
Me. Me.
Me.
Until I break
away from the comforts of
me.

And the strands are undone;
the wrappings torn by hands so nimble, I
don't notice.

A few days
ago, I would've scoffed. But
It doensn't feel that way.

It sits. Unmoving. Unthinking. Undoing.
Understanding.
A model of society. (I would have said conformity.)

And here's something else
I would have enjoyed
laughing at:
They expect it to pick
up the strands; the wrappings.

Have they no sense?
It is. No weaver.
(useless.)
It weaves. No more.
(junk.)
It makes. No sense.
(nothing.)

It is
so routine. Not even
a hint of passion.


2/5/09

© Copyright 2009 Andrew - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
1 posted 2009-02-05 09:32 PM


This made me think a lot, in a good way of course. I like your wording in this poem. Very intriguing..

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
2 posted 2009-02-06 08:07 PM


I really liked this, it's very interesting!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Octave
Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.
3 posted 2009-02-07 03:13 PM


Makes me wonder...

Very curious. I'll have to get back to you on this one. Good stuff.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
4 posted 2009-02-08 12:04 PM


wow. that about all i can muster up after reading this. amazing.
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
5 posted 2009-02-12 02:14 AM


Falling Rain: Thanks, but most of my wording just comes out on it's own. It's mostly fluff though if i don't filter it.
Freeand2sexy: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it.
Octave: It's always nice to hear that my work gets someone other than me thinking. :]
Clockwork: Thank you for ur kind opinion, but my work pales compared to urs.

There is power in the pen.

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