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Teen Poetry #9
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Missing You
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Missing You |
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Sara Mikael Junior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 34 |
lying on the green grass watching the blue carpet above thinking of how the dream would last while the river of love was behind me hearing the flaps of the wings and to a bird that always sings I stood where I could smell the breeze my hair fell in curls around my face the feeling of missing you made me freeze in my heart still feel the space that you've made after you're gone away Beats of my heart were in increase and every peace of me was in a fray fighting to get some peace but I still feel the space that you've made after you're gone away but memories will forever stay your soul rests in peace we will never forget you and for you will pray...... *************************************************** Give me your own opinion after u've read it please. Thank You. |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Oh my gumbo. This is truly a very sincere poem full of meaning and I love it for what it is. My personal opinion is always that correct punctuation and spelling can only increase a poems worth, and there are some issues with that. And maybe someone else might have chosen some different wording in some places, and perhaps taken a careful eye to avoid repetitive words as well (barring intentional repetition for effect). But all in all it's really right on track in my view, as far as plainly spoken and stirring sentiments in poetry are concerned. I enjoyed this. Thank you for revealing your heart to us.  ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!" |
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Sara Mikael Junior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 34 |
Thank you very much.......But I have some difficulties in English Language because it's not my first language... and thank you very much for encouraging me.... |
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