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nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

0 posted 2010-06-12 01:36 AM

Tall grass
People passing by
Voices within
I say I'm not ready
And yet you move on

I say no
And you continue
I had no choice in the matter
You had it all planned out
Now my life is a mess
Shattered all around me

I have to keep myself together
For the life growing within
I have to be strong
I have to grow up
because you took my life
And gave me a new one
To look after

Tall grass
People passing by
Life within
I'm not ready
And now I have to be

I wrote this poem from a friends point of view, its not my best but its true.

*tori_rose*
Junior Member

since 2010-10-12

Posts 44
Weber City, VA

1 posted 2010-10-13 11:53 AM

i can totally relate to this as i have just broken up with someone because they were pushing me to do things that i didnt want to, i was one of the lucky ones that got out before anything to bad happened

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2010-10-13 01:13 PM

It's not always easy to write from
another's perspective, but I believe
you did a good thing here; because
it is believable, and the compassion,
as a writer, comes through.

Prats
Member

since 2010-12-16

Posts 74

3 posted 2010-12-17 08:23 AM

i liked dis poem... it's touching...

Heaven is not that place where you go when you die... it's that time in your life when you actually feel ALIVE!!!

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

4 posted 2011-01-02 05:11 AM

Actually, the beauty of this piece is that it conveys the scene and the sense in very direct terms. This is not a subject which a person can, or perhaps even should, dress up poetically. The natural style with which you wrote this is plenty poetic without detracting at all from the subject and it's profound implications. Nor, do I feel, could a more dramatic conveyance have created such a poignant sensation as the one it does now, just as it is. So, I beg to differ, this is among your best because it does precisely what it needs to, no more, no less, and that balance is as much an art as flowery poetry.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`·

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