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Teen Poetry #9

what have I became?

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2010-04-23 05:27 AM

Looking in the mirror,
such an expressionless face,
changing through the years,
shaped by every place.

impossible to find
whats inside of me
where did she go?
that girl I used to be

I miss that innocence
and how easy it had been
growing up is hard
people can be so mean

the curfew that I hated
is a sign that someone cared
now there's no one there
to hold me when i'm scared

Looking in the mirror
all I see is someones name
just another person
what have I became?

Love is like a boat with a hole in the bottom. you always end up sinking

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2010-04-23 08:58 AM

Your poems are always soo well written out. I'm soo jealous!! lol. Like I can't even write as well as you. Great job. And this deserves a favorite.

okay... so I love strangers with candy :)

toriber
Junior Member

since 2010-06-10

Posts 22
texas

2 posted 2010-06-17 11:58 AM

i love your writes. im new to this site but iv read alot of your writes and they rock!!

id rather be extordinary together rather than ordinary a part

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2010-06-18 01:34 AM

thats so nice to hear, as I have not been on here much at all. Thank you both!

VelvetVampress
Junior Member

since 2010-04-24

Posts 26

4 posted 2010-06-21 11:56 PM

i love this poem it is well written

~Velvet Vampress~

AlexandriaDixon
New Member

since 2010-06-22

Posts 6

5 posted 2010-06-22 01:34 PM

I thought this was a great poem. It is easily related to. The only thing I would suggest saying is that in the third stanza I would switch lines 1 and 2 and make them 3 and 4. (if that made any sense) Other than that it flowed beautifully.

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

6 posted 2010-07-17 03:36 PM

nice to see some one interested in the sound of the poem as well as the sense of it.last line eeds a polish to keep the sound signature(unless it is deleberate) arthur

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