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UNTAMEDelegance
Member

since 2009-05-30

Posts 222
Oregon

0 posted 2010-03-24 03:54 PM

I want to be his everything,
but he won't let me in.
I've tried to pierce his shield so much
it just might be a sin.

No matter what I try to say,
he never breaks the ice.
I'm waiting for the soul I feel,
the one that haunts his eyes.

Lurking under ice-bound locks
I know a lover's there,
but nothing melts the solitude
of chains that keep him there.

I feel the heart that's trapped inside
the box his armor gives.
If he would just unlock the door
I swear he'd not regret to live.

I never asked to fall in love,
but now I'm here and stuck,
but he won't looks to see that he's
not alone with the painful luck.

But I would take away the hurt
if he would let me love.
I'd heal the wounds and kiss the pain
and take away the need to cut.

I'd strip away his armor plates;
destroy his ice-bound farce.
I'd gladly be his everything
and love the faded scars.

[This message has been edited by UNTAMEDelegance (03-26-2010 02:36 PM).]

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2010-03-24 07:48 PM

Love the last stanza!

But I'm not sure if I liked the topic much. :/

Nice job!

-Zach

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

eternalbeauty
New Member

since 2010-03-23

Posts 5
NJ

2 posted 2010-03-25 07:45 PM

i love thiss soo much! awesome poem!!

mella:)<3

Kim
Junior Member

since 2010-03-20

Posts 10
U.K.

3 posted 2010-03-26 01:44 PM

wow great poem!

UNTAMEDelegance
Member

since 2009-05-30

Posts 222
Oregon

4 posted 2010-03-26 02:39 PM

Thank you everybody!

Falling rain: I wasn't sure I liked the topic much either and when I first started writing the poem, I had something completely different in mind, but this was how it evolved. I'm kind of glad the poem evolved on its own because it les me get a surprise as well! (p.s. I liked the last stanza a lot as well; I think I may like is the most of all.)
~UNTAMEDelegance

wolfy09
Member

since 2008-06-10

Posts 93

5 posted 2010-04-16 01:51 AM

wow that was amazing i really enjoyed this peice. if you do find this topic interesting you might find enjoyable reads and topics in dark poetry.

nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

6 posted 2010-04-19 10:24 PM

Messa
This is a really good, sad, but good poem
and we need to have a talk

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