I'm still here. - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2010-03-10 08:26 PM

Please read this out loud to yourself. Words have more power when they're read aloud.
---------------------------------------------------

I've been broken and beaten
and I'm still here

I've been cursed at and weary
but I'm still here

I've lost some hope and gained new ground
and I'm still here

I've been left for my soul to die
But I'm still here

I've been forsaken by those who forsaken
And I'm still here

There hasn't been a challenge that I couldn't rise to
That's why I'm still here

there's always hope....

[This message has been edited by Falling rain (03-11-2010 08:59 AM).]

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2010-03-10 09:48 PM

[Reading it out loud really did make a difference.] Never give up trying to hope 'cause once you get a grasp of it, you'll be able to move in the other direction.
I have hope for you Zach, and maybe that's not enough right now but I know that I understand everything you told me, and that I've gone through what you explained. If I of all people can get through that, then you can.
I know it will pass. I'm not trying to sound all.. whatever, but I mean what I say. Like I said, I put a lot of thought into these things. I still care, and I'll listen to whatever you have to say. It doesn't matter how long we haven't talked, you can trust me.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2010-03-10 10:28 PM

This is a great affirmation!

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

3 posted 2010-03-11 12:22 PM

Such a strong and assuring poem,
incredible write!!
-Lee

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

4 posted 2010-03-11 04:17 AM

Not only will you rise, Zach, but your experience will make you a more compassionate and understanding person. I've seen that already in so many of your comments and poems. You've been there, you know what it feels likes and you lift others up when they need it the most. That's quite a gift, one I admire and respect.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

5 posted 2010-03-11 11:46 AM

Thanks Em! It was worth the aching waiting 5 mins for your comment.

And thanks for always being there. Its much appreciated.

Mysteria, Thanks! That was my goal. To convince others and myself that there is hope.

Leanne, Thank you for the comment.

Jenn, Thank you! I hope that all this stuff that I've been through will turn out for the better in the end.

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

Zeigeist
Member

since 2009-12-09

Posts 311
Michigan

6 posted 2010-03-11 12:25 PM

I like your strength in this one. Sometimes life is two steps forward and one step back. Sometimes all we can do is put our head down and hold tight to our convictions and keep plowing forward. The strength you gain from this will compound over the years.

Zeitgeist.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

7 posted 2010-03-17 12:57 PM

Thank you for your comment.

-Zach

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

eternalbeauty
New Member

since 2010-03-23

Posts 5
NJ

8 posted 2010-03-25 07:51 PM

i love thiss.!

Taylor See
Member

since 2008-10-07

Posts 55
North Carolina, US

9 posted 2010-03-26 02:37 PM

I really like the theme and ideas of this poem. Very powerful. And as someone said above me, reading it aloud makes a world of difference.

My only suggestion would be that the second lines ex "And I'm still here"
have less of an audible syllable punch then those with "But I'm still here."
I also like the added defiance "but" naturally injects into the poem, in stating the opposite.

Great work!

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

10 posted 2010-03-26 03:00 PM

Thank you for the comment! Yeah I wasn't too sure about switching it up between "but" and "and." I don't know, It just sounded like it would have more of an impact if I wrote it that way. Thanks for reading!

-ZAch

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.