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Teen Poetry #9

I Hope Karma's Real

HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

0 posted 2010-01-18 07:58 AM

Hey. Back for a little. Please let me know what you think.

Made to obey.
Don’t shed a tear.
Kept my mouth shut.
Trembled with fear.

Learned more than once.
Must not resist.
Never accustomed
to the blow of the fist.

Why did Mommy marry
such a horrible man?
Robbing innocence from children,
I’ll never understand.

Memories still linger,
pain still survives.
Many will deal with it
for the rest of their lives.

Mom may not see,
but I look right through.
I can only hope you get
what’s coming to you

UNTAMEDelegance
Member

since 2009-05-30

Posts 222
Oregon

1 posted 2010-01-19 01:49 PM

Holy Crap! I literally got shivers down my back when I read this poem. These are really powerful words.
~UNTAMEDelegance

m48
Member

since 2009-12-02

Posts 108

2 posted 2010-01-20 02:04 PM

i felt the anger and shivers too.nicly written great feeling behind it.also it paints a story you can almost see while you read.

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

3 posted 2010-01-20 06:55 PM

such a strong and emotion filled poem, i loved every word of it
great write

-Lee

precious pearls
Member

since 2009-07-24

Posts 110
NJ; United States

4 posted 2010-01-27 08:50 PM

good poem...made me go through lots of feelings...made me sad to...and i understand... wat u mean about wanting him to feel the pain u feel...i understand bcuz i kno the feeling all too well

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2010-01-27 09:29 PM

You captured so many emotions with this poem, and did an excellent job of telling a really sad story.

Emi<3Naruto =]
Junior Member

since 2009-09-05

Posts 32

6 posted 2010-01-29 03:40 AM

wow. there are no words for this. i really felt the utter defeat throughout the poem and the anger in the last two lines. and wanting him to get whats coming to him, its like thats all you can hope for now. simply amazing.

Jeremy
Junior Member

since 2010-01-29

Posts 14

7 posted 2010-01-29 04:45 PM

Simply amazing....

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