»
Main Forums
»
Dark Poetry #5
»
love at first sight
| Dark Poetry #5 |
|
love at first sight |
|
|
ponderthepoetorrsx Member
since 2011-06-25
Posts 284U.S , Ca |
did you believe in love at first sight? do you stay awake at night with tearful eyes? and when you sleep is he the last thing to cross your mind? do you feel alive every time you see her smile? and constantly wonder why? and constantly wonder why? why doesn't he like me? why does she mind me? what's wrong with me? am i destined to be alone? did you believe in love at first sight? to only be met with spite? do you lay in your bed at night with bloodshot eyes from so many tears spent? do you feel your sick of all the endless thoughts? and wish you wouldn't think so much? do you try and try to only cry and cry? did you believe in love at first sight? was it quite how you thought it would be? do you believe in love at first sight? |
||
| © Copyright 2011 richard salgado - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
LaGraceLa Member
since 2011-01-30
Posts 243Minnesota, USA |
No, I don't believe in love at first sight. That said, wonderful poem! I think that it could be made a little stronger if you broke it up into stanzas. Some poems work better without them but I think that stanzas would emphasize the repetition and make it stronger. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
