|Dark Poetry #5|
|End of Us|
since 2011-10-31Posts 11
It's killing you, it's killing me
There's nothing we can do, I wanna be free...
Your lips are pursed, you hold on tight
Wondering when you won't feel your heartbeat.
I'm watching you, and your watching me
Not a word do we speak.
And I can't stop you, you won't let me.
You're pulling on my opposite string.
There's nothing to look forward to.
I can't save you anymore.
All we've been through just thrown away.
You don't need me to stay...
And there it is.. my release from you.
Then why do i find it so hard to walk out that front door?
|© Copyright 2011 Lailani - All Rights Reserved|
since 2011-01-30Posts 243
Wonderful ending, that question is haunting and adds so much to your poem.
since 2009-11-27Posts 159
I really liked it, nice to read aloud.
Felt quite lyrical.
If I were you I'd redraft it and cut some of the lines down to keep the rhythm (but of course, I say that because you asked for some crit).
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