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karren29
Member

since 2011-09-29

Posts 85
philippines

0 posted 2011-09-29 10:33 PM

mommy it’s so dark in here
but i know i don’t have to fear
i can’t see anything
but it’s a glorious feeling

soon you'll find out about me
hope it makes u happy
I’ll do my best for you
mommy there's nothing i won’t do

mom i heard u cry
grandma found out today
i heard her sigh
said everything's okay

i feel u hug me every night
it doesn’t hurt though it’s really tight
you whisper sweet words to me
but mom why don’t i hear daddy?

it’s my 5th month today
grandma baked a cake
then i heard u say "James!"
Is that my daddy's name?

he held u in his arms
but it doesn’t feel right
i know he won’t do any harm
but i feel really scared tonight

then u talked about me
and how i make u happy
grandma asked for a ring
and he didn’t say anything

that was the first and last time
i ever heard his voice
and today u said u made up your mind
u said u made your choice

today we are in a hospital but it doesn’t sound the same
the doctor introduced himself but i didn’t get his name
mommy what are we doing here please lets go home
grandma's waiting for sure, we don’t want her to be alone

u walked in his office and he said something
i didn’t understand but i have a bad feeling
please mommy let’s get out of here
don't let him touch you, don’t let him near

mommy can you hear me?
I’m getting really scared
mommy listen to me
i thought you really cared

He's gonna hurt me i know u know that
he even said u shouldn’t be sad
mommy can u feel my heartbeat?
I’m asking u to love me

there's silence for a little while
thought i won and i finally smiled
i felt something cold touch my skin
then my little world became dim

I start to feel the pain
I know he's the one to blame
mommy please help me
it's killing me, can't you see?

U see, i wanna grow up one day
ill love u when everyone walks away
Why don’t you please give me a chance
am i no longer part of your plans?

I feel the thing rip my arm off
just like that coz its really soft
I’m crying in pain but u can’t hear me
it hurts mom, it hurts, cant u see?

please ask him to stop, I’m dying
can u still feel me? I’m hardly breathing
mommy please let me live
there's nothing i won’t give

and then there's no pain anymore
a man in white opened a door
He took my hand and cried with me
said, "It's ok son, your free"

I don’t know who he is
but he knew just what to say
and with just one kiss
he took the pain away

I still want to ask u why
but i hope you’re doing fine
I still want to hold your hand
I love u mommy, I’ll try to understand

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

1 posted 2011-09-30 02:16 AM

this was beautiful. very touching

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2011-09-30 05:37 PM

How deeply sensitive and heartwrenching, dear Karren.

This should hang in all those waiting rooms where there is still a chance to change one's mind in such dramatic moments.

Love,
Margherita

LaGraceLa
Member

since 2011-01-30

Posts 243
Minnesota, USA

3 posted 2011-09-30 08:08 PM

You have no idea how much this poem hurts me. I have not cried like this for as long as I can remember. I wish that things went differently for me, but you get scared and do what seems best, even if it is wrong. Sometimes you don't really get a choice. This poem burns me, but I'm glad I've read it. I just wish that it will not haunt me like I know it will.

karren29
Member

since 2011-09-29

Posts 85
philippines

4 posted 2011-10-01 02:45 AM

thanks for reading and commenting guys, lagracella, well i was 19 when i learned I was pregnant, when i told my then bf about it, he said he wasnt ready and so he left me and dated another girl.. well i wasnt too, to be honest i thought of getting rid of the baby but i had a weird dream, a baby begging for me to let her live, when i woke up i just knew i had to have her.. and im glad i did

karren29
Member

since 2011-09-29

Posts 85
philippines

5 posted 2011-10-01 02:45 AM

thanks for reading and commenting guys, lagracella, well i was 19 when i learned I was pregnant, when i told my then bf about it, he said he wasnt ready and so he left me and dated another girl.. well i wasnt too, to be honest i thought of getting rid of the baby but i had a weird dream, a baby begging for me to let her live, when i woke up i just knew i had to have her.. and im glad i did

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

6 posted 2011-10-01 03:31 AM

I am glad I came back here to find your comment relating to the happy end in your personal story. Brava!
I really think your poem could help find the strength to decide in favor of life, instead of death.
This should be given more resonance.
Love,
Margherita

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