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Dark Poetry #5
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need a best title for this one
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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need a best title for this one |
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maddorani Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423houston,tx |
ok this is not a suicidal poem its just my thoughts and feelings and also i think some of it might be choppy but i would still love some feedback thanks  What would happen if I disappear? What would happen if I wasn’t here? Will there be actually someone who cares? Will there be? Sometimes I wish I would disappear Sometimes I wish I wasn’t here Sometimes I wish to be taken away Because I don’t want to be here I just don’t! And no one will understand why They will only watch and stand by No one will apprehend this guilt That I have kept inside To them it seems like I have committed a crime What kind of crime did I commit? What kind of crime was it? Was that crime that bad? That it left me as an outcast! What did I do to deserve this? What did I do? What would happen if I disappear? What would happen I wasn’t here? Probably people will be happy Probably they won’t even care Probably they won’t even notice What would happen If I disappear? What would happen? People don’t even know me And yet they dare to say Bad rumors about me What did I ever do to them? I only made one mistake And this is how it turns out What’s the point of Me being here Since the whole world Is against me I pray to god everyday Asking for mercy and to help me But he is the only one That I can turn up to He is the only one that I can count on When the whole world Is against me I wonder if there is someone That can hear my sorrowful cries I wonder if god Can hear my sorrowful cries If he does Then he should Send someone To be by my side |
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LaGraceLa Member
since 2011-01-30
Posts 243Minnesota, USA |
I've felt this way so many times. It is a cruel game because you have to get to this point in order to find that one person who was always there, but you never bothered to notice. Good poem, a lot of feelings and passion. The only suggestion is that after a while it became somewhat repetitive, but other than that fabulous job! |
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maddorani Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423houston,tx |
thank u |
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