"untitled" (any suggestions for title)

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Dark Poetry #5

"untitled" (any suggestions for title)

NormalitxButterfly
Member

since 2008-07-09

Posts 107

0 posted 2009-01-09 07:30 PM

"Untitled"
head spinning, room spinning, its coming
no where to run, no one to hear you
voice frozen in a silent scream
its been so long since she uttered a word
It cannot be heard anymore
"Please god save me, I wanna put
an end to it...."
eyes reflecting back nothing
drivin insane
consciousness splintered and powdered
memories scattered about
everyone says
theres no point in praying
shes too broken
increasing in pain
with each passing day
Night after night after night after night
just to see how much she could take
no escape but wishing it wasn’t real
The things she can’t forget are too painful
Shut your eyes and yourself from reality
Even if tomorrow forces her to live
Whose fault is it that she can't trust?
her tears and even the meaning of emotions
disappear
keeping the secrets of those pains that overflow
it stains the skin
its rotting flesh
softly, eyes close
unspoken
a silent plea
she signals out with her hands
words that have become too fragile
"Please give my heart something,
anything like a blade sharp....enough to kill me"

NormalitxButterfly
Member

since 2008-07-09

Posts 107

1 posted 2009-01-12 10:37 AM

i don't know how i feel about this one. i didn't want get too into it and say too much but at the same time i feel like i didn't say enough

I leave to walk ahead, only to be lost
Even though I cannot see the end, I think it's alright
I will leave on a journey at range, it's alright if i don't know

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2009-01-12 02:06 PM

The last two lines of your poem really bothered me. I can feel the anxiety written into the poem, but I don't think a knife is the answer, but hope could be?

SlowlyFallAway
Member

since 2008-08-29

Posts 279
North Carolina

3 posted 2009-01-13 12:37 PM

"her tears and even the meaning of emotions disappear"

I don't know about you but that's how I cope. I don't let my emotions mean anything, I don't let them get involved. This was a great poem, I can totally relate to it. As for a title, ill have to get back ob one

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