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voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York

0 posted 2009-12-13 12:59 PM


That day is coming, it'll soon be here

And I wish it wouldn't come, but now it's here

So many thing to say before you go

But where to start? I don't know?

Maybe with how long we've known each other?

(13 years going on 14 yearsto be exact been so long)

Or possibly when where we met again and you saved my life?

(In Watervliet High school, outside Mr Satterlee's room)

It could possibly be when we both were on the bowling team?

(To be honest I only joined because of you, to spend time w/you)

Also all the times you talked about Dakota she was just like me!

(Yes okay I was really jealous!! Really really jealous!)

There's also the times where I spent a whole summer with you!

(Wait was that before or after we dated for 4 months? oh yea before!)

I hated it when on my senior year of high school we hardly talked at all

(I really thought you hated me, guess we really shouldn't have dated huh?)

However I did love spending time with you, some of the best days of my life!

(Just wish that you loved them too! or do you?)

Then there was the time when you were to take me home

(However I care about you to much, that I stayed with him so you didn't get hurt)

Then when I was finally back in the hometown

(We tried to spend as much time as we could together and it was really fun! Staying up til 3 am!! lol)

Then when finally getting a new boyfriend I didn't see you for a while

(Then we finally hung out one day and I got sick by the railroad track> You remember why!!)

A few months have gone by and in between that time I've seen you about 2 times, not that much

(Yea of course I really miss you)

And now as it's ending the year I'm scared

(Of when you'll possibly leave)

The truth is I really don't want you to leave!!

(I don't know what I'm going to do without you!)

So to end this with everything I can

(Your my best friend)

I miss you everyday and I love you so much!!

(Thanks for being there for meBrad Carpenter)

Kate

© Copyright 2009 Kate - All Rights Reserved
voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York
1 posted 2009-12-13 12:59 PM


It's about my best friend Brad Carpenter and I'm sure others can relate if they lost a friend!

Kate

QuietAstronomer
Junior Member
since 2009-12-13
Posts 18
North Carolina, USA
2 posted 2009-12-13 10:03 PM


I, too, have recently lost one dear and near.
This resonates to my core.
Thank you.
QA

voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York
3 posted 2009-12-16 03:24 AM


your welcome!! thanks for reading!!

Kate

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

4 posted 2009-12-21 02:42 AM




Dear V2bH,

           I caught a bit of byplay in a posting with Naked Thoughts, so I thought I'd have a look at one of your things.  I find a lot to like here, and especially the way it's filled with real things and real stuff.  The name of the High School, the name of the teacher, the name of the Friend, all the bits and pieces that older poets have to work very hard to get into their work are really right there.  You should be pleased.

     I wouldn't want to critique this piece because it's clear that the main thing that you need to do right now is to continue writing.    There might be some specific writing exercises for you to try out and have fun with that would get you moving in the direction of having a bit more sense of the overall sense of structure that each poem needs to develop on its own.

     There's a good book that's a collection of poetry writing exercises by professional and published poets that can be very useful if you approach it with a sense of playfulness.  If you feel like it's drudge work, you take the fun out of it, after all, and then what's the point?  It's called The Practice of Poetry and it's edited by Robin Behn and Chase Twichell.  One of the best exercises in the book is available for free on the internet.  It's by Jim Simmerman, and it's called something like "20 Small Poetry Projects".  It's wild and a lot of fun because it asks you to do things with words that stretch your imagination.

     The first poem that Simmerman wrote using that exercise, after he invented it, he published in Poetry Magazine.  That probably won't happen for you, but it will probably be a lot of fun.

     Let me know if anything comes of it over the next couple of days.  After that my wife and I will be out of town for a bit, so I wouldn't be able to get back to you in a timely fashion.  Good luck.

Take care,

Bob Kaven  

voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York
5 posted 2010-02-20 04:02 PM


thank you very much I appreciate all the reply's from everyone!

Kate

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