|Dark Poetry #5|
since 2008-08-29Posts 279
You fight about paper thin matters
Another wasted night screaming into a jar of coins
How much money will it take to destroy your life?
Can't you see your children crying?
You lead them to believe its all about the money
And they'll grow up to your arguments about paper thin matters
That get you no where in the end
You were always more of a business than a parent
January 3rd 2009
|© Copyright 2009 Emily Shives - All Rights Reserved|
since 2000-06-01Posts 1958
The line breaks in this piece are placed rather oddly. For example:
Starting a line with "That..." makes it a little jarring. I'm sure there's some technical smart person reason why it's bad but to me it feels odd.
However, I liked the message of this poem. I especially liked your final line:
"You were always more of a business than a parent"
Life's short. Think hard!
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