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Dark Poetry #5
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Unfolding And Paralyzed
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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Unfolding And Paralyzed |
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th1nktw1ce Junior Member
since 2009-07-13
Posts 24 |
Unfolding lies are secrets we blame Unfolding issues miss use the point of this game Who ever said misunderstanding was torture to gain? Twitching your eyes won’t solve the problem, But give anxiety your name And as you weave your needle side to side, Was there any doubt a thread was left behind? Sounds to me like your painting pictures the same, Without a the slightest clue who gave you your name Paralyzed prophet, you shoot for the sun When inherited treasure leaves you pointing your gun, Was it a certain happenstance which left you alone? Or the pleasure you take in pointing fingers at everyone No more questions of fate for you, my friend Shallow graves are where your mind is to blame Troubled man, you have unfolding issues all the same Somewhere you lost your love and you lost your name To all of this troubled misunderstanding I can give no clues for a man to justify Inability to find a heart on a 3 sided die So I’ll tell you the hope for you, son, From the stones that you’ve thrown And the pleasure you’ve found in cutting everyone, You’re going to turn around, hold your breathe And dig yourself a grave. Now jump in. [This message has been edited by th1nktw1ce (07-15-2009 02:28 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2009 Adam - All Rights Reserved | |||
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prize Member
since 2008-11-21
Posts 116 |
Great work-- And as you weave your needle side to side, Was there any doubt a thread was left behind? Amazing lines in your poem - I love the lines above. Overall, very dark. Well done-- p |
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Swisha Junior Member
since 2009-07-22
Posts 32 |
The first couple lines are awesome, had me hooked into it.. Paralyzed prophet, you shoot for the sun When inherited treasure leaves you pointing your gun -- I agree with prize, there's some great lines. The only critique I had was just wishing the last 2 lines had a punch like the first two lines, but thats just purely my opinion. Great work |
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