Open Poetry #43 |
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The evening sky... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA ![]() |
*I've translated this poem from Russian. The original is by Anna Akhmatova, written in 1915. I've published a collection of her poetry that I've translated into English and it can be found here, for those who are interested: http://www.amazon.com/Final-Meeting-Selected-Poetry-Akhmatova/dp/1438234732/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215803357&sr=1-5 *** The evening sky is gold and vast. I’m soothed by April’s cool caress. You’re late. Too many years have passed, - I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. Come closer, sit here by my side, Be gentle with me, treat me kind: This old blue notebook – look inside – I wrote these poems as a child. Forgive me that I felt forsaken, That grief and angst was all I knew. Forgive me that I kept mistaking Too many other men for you. |
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© Copyright 2008 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
Is Anna’s poem as good as this? I read a translation by Ilya Shambat that made me wonder. BTW I was going to say that I can’t understand why this hasn’t garnered a bucketful of replies - unfortunately I think I understand it completely. Whenever people see the word “translation” they believe the translator has simply done just that - taken the original poem word for word and then, like some automaton, translated it into English. I’ve a sneaky suspicion it’s a lot harder than that - hence my reply. This may sound silly, but for us lesser mortals, can you explain how do you do it exactly? Do you take the essence of the meaning and interpret it - fitting it to a recognisable western form? Does the original rhyme? How close a translation is it? |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: I think even Anna Akhmatova applauds from the world of beyond. You have done a wonderful job. No, it is not easy at all to translate a poem. I began studying Russian because I wanted to read my favorite authors and poets in the original language, but that was a long time ago and life had other plans for me ![]() Thank you so much! Love, Margherita ps next time I will order books from amazon I will include your book too. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you for your replies. The reason I started translating Russian poetry way back when was because I read some of those so-called translations that simply went word-for-word and retold the original meaning, completely ignoring alliteration, rhyme, etc. When it comes to Russian, the language is very melodic and musical. Poets like Akhmatova, Tsvetaeva, Mayakovsky, Pasternak all use this to enhance their work. This poem is no exception. To completely ignore this fact in translation is inexcusable. I've read some of Ilya's translations. And while he makes an attempt at keeping the rhyme in some of the poems, it seems to me that he often sacrifices quality for quantity. I have a very serious approach to translations. To me, it's no different than restoring a work of art from the 17th century - you wouldn't want to touch it up with crayons, would you? I'm glad you liked my work. I'm happy to make some of these Russian poets accessible to people who don't speak Russian. By the way, I have a ton more translations on my website. Link is in my signature. Enjoy! |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
I believe this merits another 'visit' near the top of the "P.I.P.-land" queue?! |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I enjoyed this poem very much, Thank you for translating it. Ida |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Bump. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. This is very good But I also suspect the original was one of her earlier poems before or about before 1918; it that correct? Personally after Anna increasingly disappoints Again very good In fact with your permission I would like to add it to my files with you noted as the translator. John . |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
You're quite right John. 1915. And I also prefer her earlier writing. Though we shouldn't forget what she was going through at the time. Check out my site (in my signature) for more of her work. |
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