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Open Poetry #43
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Still
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Still |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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Lonely doesn’t even come close to how I feel. This life, this moment can’t be the whole deal. You said this and pretended indifference. The very next day I said that and you looked the other way, making it difficult for me to stay. It’s what you wanted anyway Alone, I am dragging, sagging, seeping, this ambiguous bag of pain. Preening, keening, keeping this heap of life so stained. Comfortable, demented dreaming. Shadows offered; loss repelled. In a world of not so seeming reality was dispelled. For awhile I admit, I missed you still. The good times make the bad less real. I’ll continue to carry the baggage of what I did wrong. Even knowing it was you that took those first steps of moving along. I realized the interference. Saddened by how little faith you had in me. But I think you just didn’t want to see. Needing to believe what you wanted it to be. Hauling this bag of despair in hopes of getting somewhere. Making me feel less than what I am. The reality of what was getting in the way of what should have been and what you should feel. Yet I miss you still. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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| © Copyright 2008 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Wonderful writing, Susan, and it is puzzling, is it not: how mysteriously confused we are at the 'missing' Perhaps it is not meant to go away until we replace the missing with a new love. Perhaps that is purpose of the pain: to start anew. Jeff |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
Only the individual soul can speak for itself---here it speaks with passion and pain and beauty that makes for art, and we are enlarged by it. Thanks for sharing these innermost thoughts. art |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you both for the kind replies... and thank you Duncan for reading and calling me to tell me of my typo...  I love you bunches. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I feel for you Susan my dear but don't let the past ruin your future. Look forwards not back for you have a lot of life to live and life is what you make it. Good luck, I wish you well. Lindsay |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you Lindsay, but I promise I am fine, I just write.  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
I'm glad you just write pain bites even beautiful pain i know this sorrow that you speak of love is not always a cakewalk |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
when i read this i just ache my hand in yours |
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exhale Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646Alberta,Canada |
I think we've all been there. They say that we as people can become addicted to each other, like cocaine. I believe withdrawal lasts a hell of a lot longer. Really enjoyed this.  |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
come here and get a hug sweet susie... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you all for your replies and worry..but really, I am alright, everything is a learning experience. I dance from one moment to another writing what I learn..that's a pretty good way to do it... And Toe? you know I harbor a secret love for you, right?  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Sometimes it's about forgiveness but then you still miss them sometimes......Can't win, other than the beauty of this sadness you've penned. Eric |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Susie?...I can yodel in the valley?...perhaps a very long rendition of "Deck The Halls?"...Fa-la-la-la-la..la..la..la...la.....Got a cell phone belt clip and some mistle-toe? |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I am on it! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"this heap of life so stained" ...such and interesting and beguiling phrase...wishing you a Merry Christmas |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Nice writing. "I write, therefore, I am." |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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