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Open Poetry #43
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xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415


0 posted 2008-12-21 12:33 PM


I'm escaping, the chain's scraping, and my brain's chasing
this pain is not elusive but exclusive to the same pacing
the plain casings of empty shells call upon my soul's empty wells
to maybe swell and explode with emotion to combat hell
the guns show my ultimate tomb, cursed since the womb
rinse the moon for the white needs red to symbolize doom  
I must realize soon, I will never accomplish nothing by running
I stop stunting, drop nothing, and begin to start gunning
I hear drumming, the war drum pounds as I hear the sound
my eyes glow around the cornea with fiery pounds
suddenly noise drowns and all I hear is my heartbeat
ringing in my ear the rhythm almost puts me to sleep
I let out a war cry for I will be done, independent with glee
for me I'll rather die a warrior then live without being free.

© Copyright 2008 xTr3m3sT - All Rights Reserved
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
1 posted 2008-12-27 01:08 AM


You are getting a lot better at the internal rhyme.  This is interesting, but unsettles me a bit (which I think you might be striving for).

A

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