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Open Poetry #43

The Sketch

CrazyHorse
Junior Member

since 2008-08-23

Posts 31
New-Brunswick, Canada

0 posted 2008-12-09 09:21 AM

Let’s say I’m just a picture
Let’s say I’m just a thought
Making my way through your heart’s tunnel vision
Before I end up getting caught

Let’s say I’ve got a vision
Let’s say I can sort of see
You paving one Hell of a road
With or without me

And let’s say I want to do that
But let’s say I don’t know how
Well, I’m feelin’ like a bad decision
Feelin’ like I’ve already gone somehow

Let’s say I kind of cheated
Before I even learned the game
Let’s say I’m doubting myself
Let’s say you’re doubting the same

Let’s say the only love song I’ve written
Is sung in the past tense
And let’s say, though I wrote every word,
They still don’t make much sense

Let’s say I’m feelin’ different
Let’s say I’m feelin’ steered
Let’s say I’ve got all the friends I need
Jotted down ’tween these lines right here

Let’s say I’m disoriented
Let’s say I’ve won what I’ve lost
Let’s say I’m overreacting
And what the Hell is a paradox?

Let’s say I’m lookin’ forward
But let’s say it’s already right here
Let’s say the past is forever
Well, let’s not and pretend it ain’t there

Arius Miura de Galdri
Member

since 2007-07-04

Posts 90
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2008-12-09 09:33 AM

I really enjoyed this poem, particularly the last stanza (even more particularly the last two lines).

Great work!

AMdG

"My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--it gives a lovely light!" -Edna St. Vincent Millay

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

2 posted 2008-12-09 12:35 PM

interesting take, good cadence...nice write...loved your ending, and this line:

"Let’s say the only love song I’ve written
Is sung in the past tense"

...if I haven't said welcome to PiP, then I do now

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