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Open Poetry #43
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Dream to Imagine
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Dream to Imagine |
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Freely_expressing Member
since 2008-10-16
Posts 69NSW, Australia |
Tic tic tic… Time passes slowly by Drops of sweat roll down your forehead Dead thoughts crawl slowly around your head The pen scratches uselessly on paper covered with empty scrawling Many beginnings, but nothing worth ending Imagination, fantasy, childhood creativity…gone Inane adult drivel all that remains Shoving the desk aside you forsake any attempt to create Sleep is all your mind can think of now Lying on the bed, your eyelids flutter Lips close, breathing slows, blissful oblivion comes…dream Cool, clear light surrounds you…light? No… water Covering you entirely, erasing you until you are one with the water Ever wondered what it would feel like to be water…? Eternally flowing, always there… Rapids, you flow through rocks sharp as knives Relief…you feel no pain, simply slipping past You continue to flow, moving as one with the current You feel free, no longer chained by reality The journey’s begun… Through forests, over waterfalls, deep under the earth you flow Always moving always free… At last, you reach the ocean, boundless freedom…tastes salty Sunlight reaches you, fills you with welcome warmth Suddenly you feel lighter, freer… Rising above the world you join the clouds in their private heaven Released to fly with the wind you gather more and more water Eventually the weight will become too much… Enough! Darkness comes and you feel yourself cool Falling…falling… released once again to freedom For what seems like an eternity you fall… Drip! Reality! Something cold and wet runs down your face and into your mouth…tastes salty There’s a leak in the roof The dream comes back to you You laugh gaily, the things science class will do to you… You dreamt of the water cycle… Amusement fades, the fantasy is gone All the weight of reality drops on your still weary shoulders For just a moment you were free… Fantasy had danced with you once again Dashing to your desk! Trying to recapture that dance Defeated…the freedom, the sensations are gone A drop of sweat rolls down your forehead…tastes salty Almost, you were nearly there…you had a chance Once more Fantasy is out of your reach ‘Only in dreams do we head straight back to fantasy. Dreaming requires no visas’ This was my English creative writing response to the last line...sorry for the length...also not sure if this is included in the genre of prose or of poetry [This message has been edited by Freely_expressing (12-05-2008 04:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 Ben Crow - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
For just a moment you were free… Fantasy had danced with you once again Dashing to your desk! Trying to recapture that dance Defeated…the freedom, the sensations are gone Oh, how I know this feeling! *S* It's why I sleep with a notebook and pen beside the bed. *S* I liked this very much! |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
This was absolutely wonderful. I hope more take the time to read it. I could imagine every step and loved the illusion of becoming water. Water has always been fascinating to me. Great job!!!! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
This is a whirling carousel of images. very cool and creative |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
I love your treatment of the metaphor in this...and, I just love saying this phrase out loud: "blissful oblivion comes...blissful oblivion comes...blissful oblivion comes" ...anything that good is worth repeating |
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Freely_expressing Member
since 2008-10-16
Posts 69NSW, Australia |
Thanks all so much for taking the time to read and comment! Suthern - The elusive nature of dreams frustrates all our attempts to confine them does it not? Still, they are something we can nevertheless enjoy! Thanks again for your words  Amusemi - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Water, and most things to do with it, always manage to inspire my imagination. It's good to know someone shares my interest  Your encouragement is so appreciated!Inkedgoddess - Nice little image there yourself"whirling carousel"! Thanks also for the kind words Steavenr - Your comments are always much appreciated. Hehe...hints of things like sibilance often make such phrases pleasant to say. I'm glad you appreciated it so much! After all, that is often what I find sleep to be Ahhh...isn't that an integral motivation we have when containing our imagination into such things...that they be worth repeating! Thanks so much Regards all! And thanks again - Ben |
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