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Shrinking violet
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Shrinking violet |
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gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
Shrinking violet you left me waiting This year I have felt the pain I can’t find you I keep screaming your unknown name Everything has left me alright All by myself with nothing left to keep in my hand I want to hold on to the last violet I held on to The last thing I heard it say was let me live my life let me go away I need to take some of my time to think all this through Maybe I need to take a holiday too No time for hope I need to find my life I have noting left to say This is my last stand please believe in me I’ve learned something today Nothing ventured, nothing gained It means everything to me The advice I needed before I lost my pulse The empty sun light is gone Its night with nothing left The fogs coming and I have no one here Am I alone or am I still waiting for you? Breaking down I have found out why you’re lost in me Was it all a lie that I had to find out? Why couldn’t you just tell me that the first day? The empty feeling I had is now in rent Jimmy had the gun and a bullet for my head Was he out of his mind? It ended my punishment [This message has been edited by gdcod2player (11-20-2008 09:03 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 gdcod2player - All Rights Reserved | |||
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
I like the "shrinking violet" metaphor for your gal. Keep plugging away on this...you have something here. Good job gd! |
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Pantheress Member
since 2008-11-02
Posts 215Queensland, Australia |
I have no advice.. but I thought your poem was very nice.. |
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WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
Some times you can say too much. I like the poem ending with: "Maybe I need to take a holiday too" Save the rest for another page. Just a thought. WT> The answer is always NO, Until the question is asked. |
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