navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #43 » tears
Open Poetry #43
Post A Reply Post New Topic tears Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058


0 posted 2008-11-03 04:39 PM



circle of life in a fish bowl clear
lacking clouds of unfrought dreams
living a style of unshed tears
upheld loosely by scuttled schemes

sun shines softly through the open blinds
opalescent glows through the glass wall beams
distorting visions as the rays unwind
and bend their arms in shadow-gleams

life lives on in the latent bowl
lending its breath to the constant din
of drench-dew prints on a pauper's dole
removing life-forms-lost of their paltry skin

circle of life in a fish bowl clear
unseen patterns in the form of a tear

© Copyright 2008 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2008-11-03 06:20 PM


I had a sense of someone that had mastered a life plan, without any conflict or chaos.
Everything neatly passing by, nothing pressing.  It is this human warrior spirit, this eternal battle with the head and the heart, that stirs our consciousness and moves us in risk and ritual to victory.  Without it, we are complacent and lonely.
Tears...a proper energy to wash away the mundane, making room for a river of thoughts and promises.  Oh...I was intrigued by this one!  

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2008-11-03 07:33 PM


Yo Steavenr,

The thought is there.

Bobby

Freely_expressing
Member
since 2008-10-16
Posts 69
NSW, Australia
3 posted 2008-11-03 07:41 PM


Very emotive imagery there I like it!
Especially appreciate the imagery in the second verse - The last line "and bend their arms in shadow gleams" was especially good. Imagery with enough complexity to make it vivid but not too much too make it hard to comprehend.
Thanks for the read - Ben

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2008-11-03 08:19 PM


TD,
you never cease to amaze me how you let the works of others speak to you on such insightful levels...always honored to read your comments...thank you

Bobby,
it is always nice to have you read and comment...I appreciate it

Ben,
thank you...your comments are not only appreciated but enjoyed as well...so glad you liked it enough to leave your gracious comments

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
5 posted 2008-11-04 08:20 PM


You know, I have a whole lot of unshed tears.
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

6 posted 2008-11-04 09:36 PM


Oklahoma,
thank you for reading and sharing...you know, tears are God's ways of cleansing the soul...shed them, share them and never let them build up

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
7 posted 2008-11-04 11:14 PM


Wonderful.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2008-11-05 12:43 PM


viking,
thank you taking the time to read and comment...it is appreciated

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
9 posted 2008-11-05 04:36 AM


Steaven... your poetry is truly amazing and a joy to read and savor... thank you for sharing... I really loved this... love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #43 » tears

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary