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Double Deck Desire
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Double Deck Desire |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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Your wrists and ankles were wrapped in chains, I stared at what you have become. You had a new shuffle as you led the pack, those rubber slippers you wore looked like they would crack in the cold and your handcuffs shined like trinkets Ravens would hide in the snow. I can’t get over that you shuffled in those damn shower shoes; but I don’t think you really knew where you were going anyway. I still see you sailing over the snow hands gripping the throttle, wind bringing tears to your ice blue eyes. I still see your fingers, callused and bent, planting potatoes in the warm earth of spring. I still hear my laughter as I won the Pinochle game, crowing because you lost and I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was our last game. I want to hate you for what you did, but, hate and love are prom dance partners, and I am waltzing on their emotion. You robbed me of my ‘happy ever after’ trust and you took back the security that you once gave me. But it was only a loan, wasn't it. One day I might remember you and smile and not see you in chains, in shower shoes and in a pink t-shirt. Maybe, once more, I will see your lips move as you count your Pinochle cards. And, maybe, this time, you will be the winner. - Alison |
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| © Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I liked this alot -Juju |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Juju. That means a lot. A |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
oh my Ali-girl... I wish I could just come all the way to Antartica  and hug you right now .. this write of yours was so moving.. love and lots of my special Antartica hugs for you .. RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
chain gangs in snowshoes...sooooo cool...enjoyed it ms |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
Your writing is rich in imagery and content. Makes the reader want to go back and read again. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"You robbed me of my ‘happy ever after’ trust and you took back the security that you once gave me." yep, that hurts.  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
hate and love are prom dance partners, and I am waltzing on their emotion. More than the deck is doubled... I'm caught by both the emotion and the incredible imagery... Excellent! |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is sooooo good, Alison. I felt every word. Ida |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"hate and love are prom dance partners"...fascinating idea, in a very thought-provoking write...kept telling myself that I needed to re-think 'that' and look at 'it' from another perspective...going back for another read |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
This poem glued me for a sweet while, I love the sentimental description through the captivating write.... thanks yann |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
A very captivating write, dear Alison. Such vivid imagery and emotions. Love, Margherita |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Alison - very well written, enjoyed this... BC |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Whew! That packed a mighty blow to my solar plexus! Your vivid imagery and descriptive phrasing stirred a variety of emotions in me. "hate and love are prom dance partners, and I am waltzing on their emotion." "You robbed me of my ‘happy ever after’ trust and you took back the security that you once gave me." Sending my love and a warm healing hug, Linda  |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
That was a rather sad poem my dear, written from the heart. enjoyed. Love Lindsay |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Ali. How you tease with this one? There's a snow conveyance or contraption in here. The subject and experience, indeed the loss and pain represented by this poem must remain shrouded in the fragile petals of metaphor and kept away by the heavy weight of time. But it's more fun that way, isn't it? makes you all the more enigmatically mysterious. But, ... what else can I say? After all, I'm not exactly .. uh ... '"unbiased" (2) Jaime Friendship is for Life, if not Forever. |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
I'm SO curious about this poem ... but I must remember that curiosity killed the cat, at least allegedly, and who in their right mind would want to do an awful thing like that? smile J Friendship is for Life, if not Forever. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Jaimie, for brining this one back up. I have not gone to it since I posted it as it kind of hurts. So, to each of you, I simply say thank you. Jaimie, the poem says it all. It's a story of a man who has gone to prison. He once rode snowmachines in the wind. Love to you all, Alison |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Alison, This is well done. It puts me in mind of when Uncle Joe took me to visit my father. My father spent over half his life locked away. Love Bobby |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Ali. I love how you reveal yourself, through tantylizing (did I spell that right) fleeting and mysterious glimpsis, like a (f) rose slowly revealing, ... opening, ... unfolding. unfolding. Monster hugs coming at you from me ... Wait a minjte ... didn't I already say that? Friendship is for Life, if not Forever. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
....and the title is as perfect as the poem |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very nicely done and I love the hate and love prom dance partners. There's a sad darkness to this piece that captures the reader. Eric |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Bobby, Jaime, Michael and Eric, Thank you very much for taking the time to read this poem and for leaving me your thoughts about it. Alison |
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