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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2008-10-31 10:53 AM



She was sure her man was cheating though she didn't have a fact
So she designed a plan that would help catch him in the act.
There was a ball for Halloween that they were going to
And she said, "Dear, I'm feeling ill and I can't go with you."

He offered to stay home with her but she said, "That's alright.
Just go on and enjoy yourself and have some fun tonight."
So he dressed in his costume and he kissed his wife goodbye
As she stood there and watched him leave with daggers in her eye.

As soon as he drove 'round the bend and she was all alone
She pulled a box out that contained a costume of her own.
She put it on then called a cab and to the ball she went...
(When someone said HELL HATH NO FURY.....THIS is what they meant!)

His costume had been quite unique, specifically designed.
She knew that he would stand out. He would not be hard to find.
She checked the house from room to room - she opened every door
Then saw her husband out there with some blonde on the dance floor!

He never once had danced with her! He didn't like that stuff
Yet there he was entwined around some bleach-blond piece of fluff!!
He had a tall drink in his hand and acted like a fool...
She wanted to just shoot him but she had to keep it cool.

She walked up quite seductively and gave her man a glance.
He reached and pulled her close to him as they began to dance.
He ground his body into her and squeezed her half to death
And she was almost overcome with liquor on his breath.

He led her glance up to the bedroom on the second floor
Then took her by the hand and led her through the bedroom door.
She had to keep her costume on to save identity
So, dressed, she lay down on the bed and, smiling, so did he.

For one full hour she let him have her, hating that man so
And, when he finished, she jumped up and said she had to go.
So she slipped out and grabbed a cab and got home real quick...
The thought of what he'd done to her had made her feel sick.

A short time later he came home and slipped into the bed.
Armed with a script she had prepared, she smiled at him and said,
"How was the party, honey? Did you manage to have fun?"
He said, "No, it was boring...." (here she wished she had a gun!)

"But, sweetheart," she said coyly, "did at least you get to dance?"
"With someone else besides you, hon? No, never! Not a chance!"
"But surely there were pretty girls who tried to catch your eye?"
"They'd waste their time", he said. "You know that I'm a faithful guy."

She almost had to be restrained to not shoot him right then
But, calling on the strength of gods, composed herself again.
"Poor dear," she said, through gritting teeth, "it really is a crime
To go to such a lavish ball and not have a good time.

"Oh, well", he said, "when you're not with me I just can't have fun
'Cause I'm just a one-woman guy and you're the only one.
I stood there for a little while and listened to the band
And barely even sipped the drink that I had in my hand."

"My buddies, Peter, John and Bill were feeling that same way
So we went to the study, found cards and began to play.
Going through a night without you, baby, makes me sad
But the guy I loaned my costume to - WOW! What a night he had!

© Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
1 posted 2008-10-31 11:23 AM


  I love this every time.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
2 posted 2008-10-31 11:33 AM


"'Cause I'm just a one-woman guy and you're the only one."

Gosh!  This was halarious.     

I was engrossed with the entire thing from the start to the shocking finish.


Excellent!

Janette

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2008-10-31 11:39 AM


I love a story with a humorous, naughty ending! ~ and my, oh, my, you sure know how to tell 'em!!!

Thanks for the laugh! ~ Correction ~ LAUGH!!!

HHH
(Happy Halloweenie Hug)
Linda
BOO!

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
4 posted 2008-10-31 12:59 PM


I am laughing so hard I think I'm about to fall out of my bed!!! Wow I was totally on her side all the way until the end!!

The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 posted 2008-10-31 01:44 PM


Yo Balladeer,

You did good work on this.  It has a great hooker at the end.  It made me laugh.

Bobby

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2008-10-31 02:35 PM


Did I ever thank you for the use of your costume that night?  Hilarious and worth the read again and again.
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

7 posted 2008-10-31 05:44 PM


ah...the romance of revenge...clever write, painted very clearly
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
8 posted 2008-10-31 08:27 PM


Balladeer - Very nice write, the ending really caught me by surprise...

BC

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
9 posted 2008-10-31 08:59 PM


Mike, glad you brought this one up again.With all my archives reading,I missed this one. "late"
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
10 posted 2008-11-01 05:09 AM


LOL!!!!  oh Michael, this was such a fun read!! hmmm... and you know that blonde could have easily been a redhead!!  We blondes cop a lot of flack on the dancefloor that's for sure!! LOL!!   loved this!     RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
11 posted 2008-11-01 06:45 AM


Balladeer this is great and it’s based on a true story.

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
12 posted 2008-11-01 11:08 AM


'Deer you delicious man, this was, as always, purrfect. How do you know how to lead my mind into paths of delight?

Absolutely wonderful writing, oh how I wish you were my tutor, I wouldn't keep dropping off to sleep in the middle of my seminars. I know you'd be able to direct my mind into more productive modes. Mmmmm?

There is no one that does these better than you, for you are the king of rhythm and rhyme.
Love and warm mushy stuff
As always  
Mushy

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2008-11-01 01:45 PM


I don't think I have ever not been taken
with this one...Imagine the look on her
face....

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
14 posted 2008-11-01 05:37 PM


Delightful and funny.
             Ida

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
15 posted 2008-11-01 09:41 PM


Every time I read this, it brings a smile to my face. You're such a clever Balladeer.

This Dutchie sends you some Halloween hugs.

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2008-11-01 10:28 PM


Thank you, good folks. You are a pleasure to write for
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
17 posted 2008-11-02 11:35 AM


**laughing right now*****
That was so funny, I like the Halloween fun!
Too bad it is already over, but I can't wait until next year. lol


ARCTIC WIND

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
18 posted 2008-11-06 02:05 PM


Like a favorite book that's as good on the fifteenth read as the first (and yes... I have a few that tattered *G*)

I'm glad tis the season to savor this again! *S*

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
19 posted 2008-11-07 10:35 PM


Balladeer, my friend, I have always enjoyed reading your poetry. And, this is no exception. You are the best.
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
20 posted 2008-11-11 05:16 PM


OMG How I have missed reading your gems, dear Balladeer. Love the read as always


Theresia

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
21 posted 2008-11-11 05:23 PM


Why is it the rhyme makes it funnier?  It's hysterical. Or I am, take your pick.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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