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Open Poetry #43
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The Flight of The Phoenix , part1
| Open Poetry #43 |
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The Flight of The Phoenix , part1 |
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poddarku Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589india 
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While traveling I disguised myself as a resident of the places I traveled. It had been hard for I had the marks of being a Bengali all over, so adopted a story of someone trying his luck at their provinces for job and a place to stay. It brought out results quite different. Those parts are safe and smooth like anywhere in the world if you have money and you are tourists, they respect tourists. But I wanted to know what a tourist won’t. The flight of the phoenix ------------------------------ (the part-1, beginning) -------------------------------- A fusion of sounds roams to and fro,- upon the pavilion of people, this is the station,- the crispy voice of the announcer has just claimed that the train is late by an hour. Swarming frustrations buzz around a waiting room. Heat. Sweat. A slowly leaning head of an alien girl upon a shoulder she thinks will support her forever. Hallucination is like the rails seem to meet at the end, over them night is sitting, gossiping with sparrows. An hour may decide a relationship. © 2008 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar clever talks delay friendship! |
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| © Copyright 2008 poddar kushal - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
"fusion of sounds" "Swarming frustrations buzz" I could have quoted more. This train station scene you paint has a texture that I could hear, see, smell and feel. Although the feelings were of sadness for the people. Powerful writing here. Janette always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Poddarku, You've been reading Kipling's "Kim" haven't you? The Phoenix is one wonderful bird featured in the "Harry Potter" books too. You have a good idea for an adventure here. Bobby |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
love your ending, especially the last line...looking forward to the rest of your journey--sounds like it will be interesting |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Kushal, the results of your trip in disguise are fascinating. In this first part I am taking in the scene through your eyes quite vividly and I feel the atmosphere heavy with possibilities and countless personal stories. You have rendered this powerfully. Love, Margherita |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
... aligning them once again, they deserve to be read and appreciated.  |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Mmmmm! This certainly has the poddarku magic touch. I never fail to be astounded at your ability, especially for one so young, to paint, with so few impressionistic brush strokes, such expressive pictures showing way deep into the souls of your characters. And now I am off to the next one. - Owl |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
If this first installment of your travels is any indication of the ones to follow ~ I'm hooked! You are quite the adventurer! ~ and writer!  Linda |
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