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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2008-10-05 11:38 PM

Outside Sunday

it was a turbulent Sunday
the sky showed misty time
October has some kind of hold
between the cold and warm
that only lets me edge through
the twitching under my skin
early I woke to the working bell
and dressed in uneasy silence
driving to the guarded gates
where humpty dumpty lives
and I felt comfortable behind
the bars and slamming doors
for it locked the storm outside

"no darkness has ever been deep enough to extinguish my personal knowledge of love" Anne Rice

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

1 posted 2008-10-06 01:04 PM

I like this line "where Humpty Dumpty lives"
Enjoyed the idea of locking the storm "out"
Ida

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2008-10-06 05:28 PM

Wow! Really liked the words here, my friend...made your point and then some.

j.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2008-10-06 09:02 PM

interesting choice of words...they work well...thoroughly enjoyed

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

4 posted 2008-10-07 04:07 PM

"October has some kind of hold
between the cold and warm
that only lets me edge through
the twitching under my skin"

yes Helen
I know that twitching

beautiful!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2008-10-07 04:21 PM

driving to the guarded gates
where humpty dumpty lives
and I felt comfortable behind
the bars and slamming doors
for it locked the storm outside

I love the way you wrote that......
It describes it perfectly.
Hugs,
Ethel

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2008-10-07 07:07 PM

Enjoyed...James

sklagurl17
Junior Member

since 2008-09-08

Posts 43
nc.

7 posted 2008-10-09 12:24 PM

"I felt comfortable behind
the bars and slamming doors
for it locked the storm outside"

This is a magical place that I dream about
-Tabitha

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

8 posted 2008-10-10 07:33 AM

very captivating read and the unexpected twist at the end made it more unique

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

9 posted 2008-10-10 12:44 PM

1slick_lady - don't know what more I can add except you do write well, and with feeling...

BC

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

10 posted 2008-10-12 03:08 AM

Wow! This packed a powerful (but gentle?) punch and has my mind reeling with all the possibilities of what you could mean. I don't know whether to be calmed by it, or unnerved. Beautifully written, as always.

- Owl

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