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Jaime Fradera
Senior Member

since 2000-11-25

Posts 843
Where no tyranny is tolerable

0 posted 2008-10-05 02:05 PM

Raw

It is Afternoon
I go to the cafeteria
in the building my roommate lives in
because the food is better over there.
Mechanically, I get a tray
and walk with it to a table.
Then it dawns on me that I am naked.
I can't be out in public like this.
I leave the tray, unattended, on the table.
I walk back to my room to get some clothes.
Then it dawns on me I am already dressed,
that I have been clothed all along.
So the trip was a waste of time.

It is Night.
I walk back to the cafeteria,
only to find that they are closing it up;
and I haven't eaten.

Friendship is for Life, if not Forever.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

1 posted 2008-10-05 02:15 PM

Jaime Fradera,

Perhaps this was in a dream.

BC

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

2 posted 2008-10-06 02:32 PM

perhaps my mind is twisted, but I found myself laughing out loud at this one...reminds me of how my mind seems to be 'working' these days

enjoyed a bunch

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

3 posted 2008-10-07 01:36 AM

Jaime,

I think I am twisted with Steaven as I am laughing. I keep thinking of the children's story "The Emperor's New Clothes" &, dahlink, you look mahvelous!

A

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

4 posted 2008-10-07 04:31 AM

Dear Jaime,

I enjoy this piece. It shows a clear sense of irony and a sense of keeping the word use spare. No more than needed and less than desired. You leave me with the sense of wanting more but knowing that it's your craft not to have written it here. Thank you very much for this.

Sincerely, Bob Kaven

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2008-10-07 05:48 AM

I think maybe we're all stripped to the soul everytime we enter the view of another's eyes. Further, I think we're all naked the second we're concious of thought and of the idea another could be concious of us. And I think we always find the cafe closed, hungar still prevelant, because we never truly know just what "they" might be thinking...

j.

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