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steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

0 posted 2008-09-27 06:26 PM

hold me in your heart—let me be
soft against your breath—let me see
moods of allurement move gently
meandering like autumn leaves
down mountain vales in cool
wisps of fall air, fondling sweet chords
of bygone lingering
left within your hair, streaming soft
as silent breezes, falling safe
into my arms
falling softly
for your charms

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-09-27 06:50 PM

Stevenr,

This is all right for modern poetry--i. e. san punctuation and capitalization.

Bobby

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

2 posted 2008-09-27 08:41 PM

Wow, what a lovely fallscape you've composed here, steavenr.

Beautiful poem, all of it!!!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

3 posted 2008-09-27 08:45 PM

This poem takes the shape of a chalice, the gift of such contentment seems well placed among the theme of autumn. WoW!

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

4 posted 2008-09-27 10:43 PM

Bobby,
thank you...I think...your comment reminds me of my first poetry professor (who taught me traditional poetry with an emphasis on Shakespearean sonnets). He always told me that I had no right to break the rules of traditional grammar until I had learned and obeyed those rules completely. btw, too many commas and dashes in the write, but I can't help it

Blues,
Thank so much for your gracious comments

TD,
Thanks for noticing the shape...I liked that too (but I saw a leaf first). I like your idea of a chalice...too cool.

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

5 posted 2008-09-28 02:32 AM

Hi Steaven, your poem is like a dance of wind and leaves and air ...appreciated very much...

yann

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

6 posted 2008-09-29 01:39 AM

Steaven,

This is most lovely.

Alison

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