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Open Poetry #43
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When You Pray Is There A God For me?
| Open Poetry #43 |
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When You Pray Is There A God For me? |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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On these high holy days, you mention casually with mocking cynics' lightest touch, when you embrace them, the structure they provide, a warm and fluid cleansing of soul, the chicken soup of life, do you atone for me? For shared frivolities, dalliances of life and love hopeless dreams, hopeful fantasies precious few realities; when I am gone should you atone for me? Come out come out and play, I make you beg when I am lost so far down inside myself I hear only echoes of empty worlds, bedazzled and bemused beyond the veil of time, will you atone for me? Your guilt is constant soft and deep nurturing while keeping you secure, it moves you firmly like a wave holds you gently in its curl, sometimes with its tide you can swim comfortably, against it you would drown; mine is full of vacillating high cold dusty winds that I ignore choosing to believe they're just treetop whispers in a harmless summer breeze; I live quietly, in mindless empty forests of the self-deceived with arrogance and fear balanced on a point of intellect until some whimsy or my spirit draws me too far from the ground, then, when I'm ripped by ferocity choked and pitted by debris, spun in circles a toy out of control, tossed in crazy patterns by howling gothic winds, do you atone for me? When I no longer think intentionally, when I see only dreams chasing me through sleep needlessly reminding me of lives and loves and lies, debts I can't forget, when I only hear wind and see faces in its folds, can you atone for me? ©2003, 2008 by icebox |
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| © Copyright 2008 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hmmm. My guilt is constant, soft and deep. and I'm not sure if I have a ritual of atonement all personalized and stuff for you--but I'm sure we could improvise something.  ?Seriously, I do keep you near and dear to me when I do that thing I do I call "prayer". This is a thought-provoking poem, too. It makes me want to explain myself. Then I thought, "nah".   No need to do that with the likes of you, lovie. You already know. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Hi Charly - You do send one into deep thought with your words. I think we atone for our own bad choices in life by the mere recognition that they weren't the best ones. Always, however, they were the best we could make at the time with the knowledge at our disposal. Life is for living and all our supposed "mistakes" just part of that living. Guilt is the killer - forgiveness the saviour. Prayer is the same as thought. You think a lot and so therefore you pray. We all think and whatever we think "is" or will be at some future time. Some things we've just got to do for ourselves but there's no time limit on that. Perhaps this just a means of getting my own thoughts in order for I truly believe you have a better handle on "everything" than I do. Always enjoy your poetry. Helen |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
In my opinion, no one can atone for you but you, though they may think they can and tell you they can. Your create such beautiful poetry. That may be, in itself, be a form of atonement. Ida |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
Some times...in thoughts of atTWOment, "Uriah" thinks of seeking atONEment. Then...when atONEment is found, "Uriah" disappears. ::shrugs:: Maybe "icebox" will fare better. ::smiles:: |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wow, dear Charlie, you create such powerful winds of emotion in your poetry. I love the comments, particularly Helen's. The very thought of needing atonement, makes you transparent like the purest of souls. Relax into the thought that you are not separate from your own creative Source. You are loved as a child is loved and you are forgiven for what you deem in need of forgiveness. You are quite beautifully human while you move through your "ferocious" draughts, and your poetry never fails to stir something deep inside. Love, Margherita  "Love is the One who masters all things; |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
A pity really, there are martyrs out there who would be glad to atone for all of us. A pity they can't. A pity we refuse to see the world as it is, until we're swept up into the winds of loss. A pity the winds never cease to blow. I like your poem, it made me feel. I suppose that's why I read you so often. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
You drew me in with your title and captivated me by your content...though I find myself so often disagreeing with your point of view, I am never disappointed by your words...you have amazing talent and never fail to impress...always look forward to your work...once again, superb |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"It makes me want to explain myself." yes...that. Makes me wonder if that only applies to the "fixers." "atonement" I don't think it works if others do it for us. Icy, you make us all think and reach inside of ourselves.. |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
I am particularly fond of: "Your guilt is constant soft and deep nurturing while keeping you secure, it moves you firmly like a wave holds you gently in its curl, sometimes with its tide you can swim comfortably, against it you would drown; mine is full of vacillating high cold dusty winds that I ignore choosing to believe they're just treetop whispers in a harmless summer breeze..." mighty fine, mighty fine! very serious and long-sustained applause! |
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