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Open Poetry #43
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Diner Decoupage
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Diner Decoupage |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy 
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Diner Decoupage In a single booth seat, the two held hands seeing what they each wanted to see in the others eyes. Row after row of red vinyl corralled them in a sea of inverted ketchup black and white dispensers and syrup proof menus. One or twice they poked around in their food but this wasn’t a time for eating even though their hopes were all consuming. A woman with big pockets refilled their drinks that sweated almost as much as the two leaving rings that eventually slow-dripped off the table edge. I watched them, huddled over bent straws crooked dreams, and curves of the future. No more than 20 the lad fished a black box from his pocket softly cradled her face in finger net and over hamburgers and French fries asked his girl to share a forever smile. She slipped it on holding it every which way so the slated-Venetian light fell just right upon the facet that illuminated her eyes. I closed my eyes heard a clank of change and the sweet squeak of sneakers across tile or perhaps it was her coo I am not sure which it was a bell tinkling and the soft hush of the door behind them. I remembered my own proposal back when I was part of the cycle back when I owned the world now could only inwardly smile and sigh. 09/22/08 [This message has been edited by threadbear (09-25-2008 01:39 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 Jeff Feezle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Excellent write, Threadbear, like watching a movie. I know the feeling. I remember when I owned the world too. Now I'm a bit "threadbear." Ida |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
You're too sweet, Ida. I'm a writer, and sometimes see stories that are too short to be written any other way. We're still part of the Essential Cog, Ida,! Thank you! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"finger net" what a wonderful turn of words beautiful poem and the ending is magnifique! |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
first, welcome...second...bravo...such a descriptive write. loved this line best: "I watched them, huddled over bent straws crooked dreams, and curves of the future." I definitely will be looking for more... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I especially liked how you captured the light and made it sparkle....also enjoyed the memory and the innocense of young love, heck you even did the burger and fries justice... it all comes to life so clearly. I absolutely adore this little slice of life. You are a gifted writer with a keen eye. Fabulous poem, threadbear~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Very beautifully told intimate moments that really create everlasting memories and bring them back to the beholder. Enjoyed this much. Love, Margherita  "Love is the One who masters all things; |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Threadbear, This is well written, and romantic. It's very good work. Bobby |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
What a wonderful story. I hate glasses that sweat! A |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Hi, Lady, and thank you so much for your words. Finger Net was an add on as i struggled to find words that compliment the tenderness of holding another's face while staring into her eyes. TBear |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Hi, Steavenr, and may I compliment you on your recent poetic posts and quite unselfish and generous comments to all! Thank you, kind sir! T.Bear |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Miss BluesS from the sea, I believe you remember the warm fuzzy moments our young loves once had: the promise of optimism, how the world was ours once to command! I will try my best to live up to your high praise, and wish you the best, L. J |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
I am so sorry about the late acknowledgements. Please forgive me. Margherita, I am flattered that you, who seem to inately grasp the wonders of love, have taken the time to comment. Hi, Robert! Keep up the good work on the Bones series, and much obliged for the incentive to keep on 'pennin'! Evenin', Alison: I got rid of the sweating glasses problem when I got 'contacts' long ago! LOL T'anx, gal! T.Bear |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Hey, you!! Thanks for the nice reply. Yea I remember those days!! Isn't life strange, a turn of the page~ |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
"asked his girl to share a forever smile." What a delightful read, and you ended it perfectly, in fact I did that very thing ... I sighed ... when I finished. Delightful read. Janette always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Hi, Janette! Thanks for your encouragement and nice words! Isn't it strange how we often can't see simple dramas, beautiful ones, right before our very eyes sometimes? Hey, L! Goin' Moody Blues on me, huh? LOL People don't give the Moodies enough credit for their very-poetic lyrics. Thanks for saying hey, and take care! Jeff |
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