Griselda's Mission To Bones

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Open Poetry #43

Griselda's Mission To Bones

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

0 posted 2008-09-09 02:07 PM

removed for lack of interest

[This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (09-10-2008 09:59 PM).]

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

1 posted 2008-09-18 11:00 PM

I was interested.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2008-09-19 11:30 AM

Yo Viking_metal,

Okay pal, here it is.

"Griselda loves her Bones.
She knows he hates what he does.

She’d like very much to help him,
however she knows she can’t.

He has bills to pay,
a mother to care for,
and he likes to eat."

Bobby

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

3 posted 2008-09-19 12:25 PM

He sounds like a lot of us. Bills to pay, life to live, no time to make things better. I like the matter-of-fact tone. Nothing over-the-top, that's just the way it is.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

4 posted 2008-09-19 01:49 PM

Thanks dear Nan,

I'm very pleased you liked the tone of the poem. That means a lot to me.

Love Bobby

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

5 posted 2008-09-19 05:18 PM

It would have been so easy for you to go melodramatic with it. So easy to pile it on. But instead you did it low-key, and that made it powerful. You left it open to the reader to identify with it, not just to look at it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

6 posted 2008-09-19 05:48 PM

Thanks dear Nan,

For the very kind words.

Bobby

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

7 posted 2008-09-19 06:23 PM

I like it...simple..plain...to the point without pounding the point...

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

8 posted 2008-09-19 07:16 PM

Thanks dear Paula Finn,

I'm happy the poem worked for you.

Bobby

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