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xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

0 posted 2008-03-03 04:50 PM

The Reincarnation of thee evil.
Filling my thoughts with sinister deeds.
Anger Pain and Vengeance simmering.
A bomb waiting to explode in me.
I begin to regret my thinkings now.
As emotional tears come down my cheeks.
I wallow without a reason but pain.
I begin to fall into a deep depression;
Then I think of you and my soul is free.
My head gets above the clouds of darkness.
The heavens start to chant my name.
With the enthusiastic voice of an angel.
When I think of you my life is now free.
You give me life and now I give life to thee.

azblond
Senior Member

since 1999-07-01

Posts 637
The Steamy Desert

1 posted 2008-03-03 05:05 PM

Oh, I loved this! Very nice write, thanks for the share~

I would rather my words fall upon deaf ears than a closed mind...

LadyTom
Member

since 2008-02-29

Posts 353
LA, CA

2 posted 2008-03-03 05:06 PM

very good, strong emotion expressed.
A very warm welcome to this wonderful blue land.

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

3 posted 2008-03-03 05:07 PM

Thank you both for your comments.

I am still learning lol I am a 14 year old enthusiastic poet.

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

4 posted 2008-03-03 05:21 PM

Does anyone else care to comment on this poem I wrote?

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

5 posted 2008-03-03 05:27 PM

........

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2008-03-03 05:30 PM

WELCOME TO PIP!

ARCTIC WIND

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

7 posted 2008-03-03 05:36 PM

Thanks, Did you enjoy my Poem?

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

8 posted 2008-03-03 05:37 PM

Very Much!

ARCTIC WIND

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

9 posted 2008-03-03 05:39 PM

=D cool

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

10 posted 2008-03-03 05:41 PM

Excellent writing for one so young. Keep them coming and welcome to PIP.
Ida

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

11 posted 2008-03-03 05:44 PM

Thank you very much, I got poems I posted in the dark place but nobody has posted in them yet

lol

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2008-03-06 03:19 PM

Thank you for reading my poetry and asking me to comment on yours. I note that you post in Dark, and that's a hard place to find Sunshine

I note that you are 14, a good age to begin the writing quest. I started early too, along the age of 7 or so, but it wasn't until I was married that I thought to myself "girl, you've got to grow up!" I put my writing on the sideboards, and raised a family, and then some grandchildren, and then about ten years ago, pulled my sheets of papers out of the dark places, read through them, and thought, "oh, grow up."

And I did.

So I've been writing fairly frequently now for the past ten years, including having some poems in Passions in Poetry's anthologies, and in those books, you will find many of our poets here included in them. Then I tried, and successfully published a novel, and am currently working on a second novel and a book of poetry.

So, my friend, I hope that you will find a great sense of appreciation for your writing, as well as others', and enjoy all of your gifts, and share them with others.

I will look for some more of your poetry.

Be well.

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

13 posted 2008-03-06 03:28 PM

Thank you very much sunshine =D

You are very nice and so is all of the community here. I started writing 2 weeks ago so I just write what comes to mind.

I have no idea about sentence structure or anything like that, I just let my pen or fingers be free and creative

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

14 posted 2008-03-06 03:47 PM

We have a couple of workshops that you might enjoy...English Workshop and Poetry Workshop. Look around in there, ask Nan for admittance, and you might learn some very new and interesting things.

Keep it up!

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

15 posted 2008-03-06 03:49 PM

Oh I will

I <3 this forum!

Also thanks for the advice. After I am done writing a couple more poems I will go right over!

effjayel
Senior Member

since 2007-09-30

Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity

16 posted 2008-03-06 04:10 PM

quote:
have no idea about sentence structure or anything like that, I just let my pen or fingers be free and creative

Hi, xTr3m3sT I write like that for the most part too....sometimes ( as in the epic currently running by Earth Angel) I write on the 'run' as it were. What I tend to do usually, is write it down on paper first before committing it to the WP, I find it easier to alter (& on the eyes !) that way. What I would say to you is that you should not post anything until you are happy with it. You will KNOW when it is done. There is nothing worse than posting something then deciding you don't like it & want to change a word or line etc....The other thing you need to be prpared for is criticism or critique' of your work. Mostly, I & I'm sure you will only have a good response to your work. Negative posts can make you go 'ouch' but do not worry, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Back in once a long ago, I remember the thrill of seeing some of my work in print, then to see it in a book in a library is amazing. You are lucky to be growing up in the age of the internet & to have forum like this, but don't lose sight of the main reason to write poetry because it is fun...I and I am sure many others on here write not because we want to but rather because we have to...Welcome to the Pip family & enjoy the experience... BTW, much as I like your name, 'tis a pain to C& P it so your name would be nice for future responses, be even better if it was real short like Sue??

Cheers John

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

17 posted 2008-03-06 04:12 PM

Thank you for the thoughtful and excellent comment

I do enjoy criticism because it helps me improve :-D

ILoveTheRain
Member

since 2008-03-02

Posts 157
GA

18 posted 2008-03-06 04:26 PM

I loved this. Keep writing! The more you write, the better you get!
I just started writing less than a week ago! lol. It amazes me how much I love it

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

19 posted 2008-03-06 04:27 PM

Thank you for your kind words

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