March - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #42

March

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2008-03-02 07:56 PM

.

Outside my window
How wonderful—

A ditch full of water

.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-03-02 08:34 PM

John,

You’ve got the knack. I love it.

Bobby

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2008-03-02 08:57 PM

yep

LadyTom
Member

since 2008-02-29

Posts 353
LA, CA

3 posted 2008-03-02 09:53 PM

The hotness of the host melted a ditch of ice
and touched the lonely moon to weep over night
A bumping heart of love moved the Old Faithful
Enticed Venus to fly there and she left a sigh

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

4 posted 2008-03-03 08:33 AM

Enjoyed!

ARCTIC WIND

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

5 posted 2008-03-03 11:48 AM

enjoyed

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

6 posted 2008-03-03 07:26 PM

The approaching thaw
a reminder of the seasons

and life, ever changing.
Very much enjoyed, Huan.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

7 posted 2008-03-04 01:54 PM

Few words say a great deal here.
Ida

RCat
Member

since 2008-02-16

Posts 70

8 posted 2008-03-04 04:18 PM

I enjoyed this.

However, if (???) you’re attempting “Haiku” your syllable count is off.

You have

5
4
6

Should be

5
7
5

Also, no open line spaces as in L2//L3. Just a matter of form if (???) you’re interested.

Thanks for the read.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.