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Open Poetry #42
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Circling The Drain
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Circling The Drain |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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Standing bare footed in snow, stripped to the waist in sleet and freezing rain, my aging body the least of all my ache, I needed without being vain to feel alive, to know to clarify with simple joy by yielding sanity to pain just to rerun your last brief phone call, precisely cultured voice so wasted on this old barbarian breezy shadows of polite conversation empty wishes of unfeeling concern hollow thoughts of self indulgence hasty fabrications of well mannered choice clutter in my mind again as scattered gatherings left as if... alms from guilty wealth bestowed to feed impoverished memory, before I dropped it all and any in the whirlpool of the lost. ©2008 by icebox . [This message has been edited by icebox (03-01-2008 05:10 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
to feel alive, to know to clarify with simple joy by yielding sanity to pain I am not sure which part of this poem I like the most...all of it was touching M |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Very touching indeed ARCTIC WIDN |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
simply EXCELLENT! I am particularly fond of: "...breezy shadows of polite conversation empty wishes of unfeeling concern hollow thoughts of self indulgence hasty fabrications of well mannered choice scattered gatherings... left as... if alms from guilty wealth bestowed to feed impoverished memory, before I dropped it all and any in the whirlpool of the lost." v. serious and long-sustained applause!! |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Thank you all for your thoughts. secondhanddreampoet - I was not comfortable with the last several lines and I could not get it right until I read your comment. Thank you, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
purification through pain (it's like the inquisition all over again!)  We need a "rack" smilie. Hmm. Maybe not. But youuuuuuuuuuu? Well, you're one of them that I knew instantly...and yep, you know all I know and more than I care to. I'll just keep making my dots. Somebody else can connect 'em.  Thank you lovie. For the calvary.  Remind me to tell you about whirlpools, the kiddie pool and my seeeeeeeeeeeeeesters. *chuckling*(You know you're bored when you make your own danger.) Toldja. I'm learning. grin |
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simon Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440London, England |
As you probably know I am a big fan... |
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LadyTom Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 353LA, CA |
very good. Strength!!! love the read. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
my aging body the least of all my ache, I needed without being vain to feel alive, to know to clarify with simple joy by yielding sanity to pain So powerful, dear icebox, so intense and so poignant. Wonderfully written, dear Poet. love Margherita |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Like Ser says, maybe (or not) we need a rack icon? You always manage to peel away the outer layers, exposing raw truth. You are rock solid. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I am always touched by your writing, IceBox. I am definately a fan. Ida |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Icebox The title pulled me in & I am so glad it did, this is a fine piece of work...was the title inspired by Michael Connoly's writing by any chance, I was thinking it was something Hieronymous Bosch once said? Cheers John |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Again to all, thank you for your time and your thoughts. effjayel - Yes, good catch! It is from The Overlook, It is a saying I have heard since youth in several places where death and dying were too common for the sensibilities of the human soul to endure unhardened. As Connelly's character says, "We are all circling the drain," at times, I need focus to feel the undertow. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
C...."I need to feel alive" A child stands on the sand in winter cold, his skin alive with goose bumps, and a mix of fear and excitement obvious in his eyes. His father takes his hand and runs with him into the cold ocean. A polar bear cub emerges, feeling proud for the courage of his discomfort. Your poem brought me thought ... an excellent thing for a poem to do. The bare-bones honesty, touched me. |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Superb, I just love Bosch, I have read all of Connolys books & have just finished The Overlook. I don't know about you but when I pick up one of his books, I find it impossible to put down...in fact, the very first one I ever read was The Poet... Thanks! John |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
icebox - Your writes are always thought provoking and certainly powerful. I think there's still a lot more to come out from the "freezer" to be mulled over by those who wish to broaden perspectives and understand a bit more about life. I'll be waiting. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very inspiring to me this one is a  |
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