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Open Poetry #42
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Paregoric
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Paregoric |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 
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I’m five, my mama works all the time, so grandma keeps me. Last night was bad, my teeth hurt again, because they’re rotten. Grandma’s nice, she tries to make me sleep, gives me Paregoric. She holds me in the rocking chair, and sings— “Sweetest little fellow, anybody knows, don’t know what to call him but he’s mighty like a rose.” It’s one of my favorite songs because it’s about me. This morning grandma’s says she’s tired of me, says she can’t stand it anymore. Grandma gives me more Paregoric, tells me “Go away, ride your scooter around the block”. I like the Paregoric, it tastes sweet, makes my tongue feel funny. I get my scooter, this is the first time I’m allowed to go around the block by myself. I’m a big boy now, I can do those things, the scooter is lots of fun, and I like to ride it. I go around the block a couple of times. There are rich people living on the corner, they have a new garage next to their house, it smells good in there, so I go in. Then I hear a noise, and look around. A big man is back there, pulling down the garage doors, he’s staring at me kind of funny. I don’t like him. He’s big and wide, like some kind of giant. He locks the doors shut, I don’t like that at all. He walks over to me. I never saw anyone look at me that way. I think he wants to hurt me. There is an open window right beside me. I jump up, and try to crawl out the window. But the man grabs me, pulls me off the window, starts taking my pants down. I feel his hands shaking, they’re hot, and I don’t like that at all. I don’t know why he’s doing that, he’s hurting me real bad. I scream and scream, tell him to stop, but he doesn’t. He’s too strong, there’s nothing I can do. When I wake up the man is gone. The garage door is open. I leave my scooter there in the garage, run home to tell grandma. She leaves me in the house, goes down to see the rich people on the corner. When she comes back, she has my scooter, she gives me more Paregoric, tells me to stop crying, everything is Ok. I think the rich people gave her some money, because she puts something in her dresser drawer, where she keeps her money. I don't think it could be from the rich man. I don't think he’d do anything nice like give grandma money or anything like that. Bobby |
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| © Copyright 2008 Robert E. Jordan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
You have me crying on this one .. and don't tell me it is okay .. or tell me that is how it is .. because I know and it is not right. No matter what, it is not right. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I lived in such a safe world when I was young. I can't bear that children are preyed on by some. This hurts. Joyce |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Alison, Thanks for that. No, there was nothing right about it. It was horrible, and I nevr really got over it. The garage is still there. I don't go by there often. Bobby |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Joyce, Thanks for reading and commenting. I don’t think there is such a thing as a “safe place”. Perhaps you were just lucky. Bobby |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Yes, some people are just lucky, I feel for Felix and all the other Felixs' out there, some who are just coming forward to tell their stories, in their old age, because it is finally acceptable to admit that you were hurt and abused as a helpless child and worse yet, that those who should have protected you, failed miserably. Stories from children who weren't even safe in church and couldn't tell their parents because they wouldn't have believed them. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I havn't heard of pargoric since I was a child. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Marchmadness, It seems like everyone likes to rag on my beloved Catholic Church because of the actions of a few bums. Bobby |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I am sorry if you felt that I was ragging on your church, Bobby. By the way I was raised Catholic too, but your poem just made me think of some things that happened at the Catholic school where my daughters went to school (right down the street) Two of the priests are still in prison. Ida |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
At first a very beautiful poem, i like your writing and learn about it (beauty and efficiency)....Thank you for sharing ...It was dramatic .... yann |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Ida, I grew up with one of those bums. We used to sit on the Settlement House steps together. He was always a real straight arrow type. We were all proud of him when he became a priest. Then he goes and pulls that kind of “stuff” on some poor helpless kids. I won’t have anything to do with him. He’s a disgrace to the whole neighborhood and to us that believed in him. I gotta go get ready for Mass now. Bobby |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yann, Thanks for the kind words on the poem. I'm pleased it worked for you. Bobby |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
What Felix had to endure and overcome as a child, is almost beyond my comprehension. My heart bleeds for the Felixes of this world. Bobby, you are a very fine writer and relay the story vividly and convincingly. Love & Child Light, Linda  |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Linda, Thanks for the kind words on this poem. I've been meaning to ask you, what does "Child Light" mean. Bobby |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Bobby, what a teribble experience, and to think that garage is still standing & you have to continue to see it. I think I would have burnt it down. I applaud your strength & courage Sir.... |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
John, The monster died years ago. There is no reason to burn down an innocent garage. Grandma and I never did get on. She's long dead too. Thanks for reading, and for your very kind comments. Bobby |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Bobby, as much as I have grown fond of Felix - I have to admit that I hate some of the poems about him. It's a good thing, I guess, that you reach into me so deeply - but too much is similar to what I went through and, while I think these poems are immensely important, they just make me kind of ill sometimes. This one hit me like that - and, Bobby, I will never not read them for that reason. They need to be read. Alison |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Alison, This one is not about Felix, it's about me, but I could change it to a Felix poem. It wasn't meant to make you sick. I suppose it was written to make me feel better. Bobby |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Alison, Try and look at it this way. Other people have been there. You are not alone. Bobby |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Bobby, I didn't mean that it made me sick - as in your writing. Content is everything. And things should make us sick sometime. Life is pretty crappy for many people. It should make us sick that children are preyed upon. Of course, the poem is about you. Some of mine are about me too - I am glad that you are writing. I do have a hard time distinguishing you from Felix. I guess I blend you both because I think that the Felix poems are you too. Keep writing and disturbing me (that is much more appropriate than the word 'sick'). Your words and your poetry are important. Alison |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Dear Alison, Thanks for this insightful write. Yes, Felix and I sometimes blend together. However, I have never suffered as Felix has. As I have said, Felix is inspired by a dead, many years ago, friend who was in foster care. I like to think that the book will help preserve his memory. We both plan to keep disturbing you. Love Felix and Bobby |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I feel for you old mate, it takes a lot of courage to bare your soul like you have done and the way you wrote about it was quite astounding, You have done well. Lindsay |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Thanks LindsayP, It was no problem to talk and write about it. As the Priest said, it wasn't my fault, I was completely blameless. It was more frightening than anything else, although it was painful. It has happened to a lot of people. Thanks for reading, and for your kind concern. Bobby |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Bobby, for your response. I did think that I had read somewhere in one of your posts that Felix was you. My misunderstanding. As for being alone, or even thinking that I was alone in the abuse that was inflicted upon me as a child. I am more than aware that I was NOT alone - that is why I think that every poem, every story, every essay, every song that is written about child abuse is vitally important. Too many people turned their faces away - and pretended that it did not exist. To pretend is a crime to, in my opinion. No, I wish I was alone, but I know that I stand among a sisterhood and brotherhood - and I am proud to stand tall among them. A |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Alison, There you go hon--and remember, we will always take your part in a fight. We're a gang. In fact, that's what gangs are all about. Bobby |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
The comments make me understand `City Boy Stays Alive` in a new light. It is more than fiction. The book left a deep impression upon me. |
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