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Open Poetry #42

Way Too Much

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2008-02-16 03:27 AM

Way Too Much

I miss my honey
too much,
the sweetness
of her kiss
the softness
of her touch,
the joy that
I have found
when my honeys around,
the sweetness
of her kiss
the softness
of her touch,
I miss my honey
way too much.

JamesLee
15February
2008

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

1 posted 2008-02-16 03:31 AM

Awww, James. I am betting that she misses you too. This is lovely. The simplicity simply adds to the beauty of the love you share.

Hang in there, my friend,
Ali

poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

2 posted 2008-02-16 03:54 AM

it is really sweet.

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

3 posted 2008-02-16 05:04 AM

lovely thoughts here James...love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2008-02-16 06:44 AM

Tenderly expressed longing, dear James, your soft heart never fails to show!

love
Margherita

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

5 posted 2008-02-16 08:46 AM

James,

The thought of this is good. You might think of breaking it up into several shorter strophes. At present, it is one long sentence.

Bobby

effjayel
Senior Member

since 2007-09-30

Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity

6 posted 2008-02-16 09:13 AM

Way too much is far too good.....James this is for me, one of your best writes..That being said I agree with Bobby, I think it would scan better if you did as suggested..just an observation & not a critcism. Leave it, change it.. I love it !

Regards

John

TomMark
Member Elite

since 2007-07-27

Posts 2133
LA,CA

7 posted 2008-02-16 10:32 AM

always romantic... Powered by real life romance.

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