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Open Poetry #42
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kaile
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singapore

0 posted 2008-07-08 12:37 PM


the dirt-riddled children
giggle at
their digital selves,
the only laughter

in
a sea of mannequin
adults waiting
for the stork of business
to patronize,

granting them
smiles that soon freeze

© Copyright 2008 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2008-07-08 02:45 PM


I'm not sure what you mean here, and I'm sorry that I don't cause it sounded sad to me...but I'm not sure why...could you tell me?
OwlSA
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2 posted 2008-07-08 02:56 PM


Heng, please forgive me for intruding, especially when I am probably completely wrong!

Sea, I would love to have the opportunity to see how my interpretation does, before Heng gives you the real one.

What I think Heng is saying is that the poor children are giggling in the glee and wonder they experience at seeing themselves in photographs that touriss have taken of them and show them on the screens of their cameras.  Their families - if they have families - don't have cameras, so seeing themselves in photo's are a novelty and make them feel noticed and important.

Rich women walk past about to patronise (in both senses of the word) expensive shops for presumably non-essential items and they think they are being very kind and gracious for smiling at the children, but whilst the children may enjoy the smiles for a moment, the smiles freeze -  partially because they weren't really meant deep down from the heart, and secondly because they need warm clothes, not smiles.

How far am I off target, Heng?  Sorry for jumping in so fast, but I love trying to interpret poetry, whether I am completely or partially right or totally wrong.     

I  so love everything about your poem, especially the human element.

- Owl

OwlSA
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3 posted 2008-07-08 03:01 PM


I don't think that who I said were women were necessarily women.  The word, "mannequins" is being used metaphorically.  Even though that is the case, mannequins get photographed too, so the theme of the photographs is carried to the rich people in the poem as well as the poor children.  

- Owl

SEA
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with you
4 posted 2008-07-08 03:15 PM


I think the kids are granting the adults the smile, and if we go with the camera thing, then it could be that the kids are the ones mugging for the cameras?? Maybe??
Robert E. Jordan
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since 2008-01-25
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Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 posted 2008-07-08 04:10 PM


Kalie,

Gratuities for having your picture taken are always more than welcome.

One must always approach life with the question--"What's in it for me?"

Bobby

XGarapanX
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since 2008-06-19
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Antarctica
6 posted 2008-07-09 09:20 PM


I'm pretty sure I get it, and I like it plenty!

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

Marge Tindal
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7 posted 2008-07-09 10:26 PM


AhDearestKaile~
There is nothing to 'tear' on this one~
It is a scene out of the recent streets of time~

Good to see you, my long, long friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -               noles1@totcon.com

kaile
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8 posted 2008-07-10 11:41 AM


hi guys,

sorry for the delay. was busy preparing for a test. in fact, this was written as a channel for relieving stress. LOL.

Owl got my intention for the first part of the poem. it refers to the heart-tugging smiles of the Nepali children on seeing themselves on my digital camera.

mannequins adults refer to their parents/neighbours/relatives who stare impassively, doing almost nothing, waiting for customers (stork of business)

however, even when the stork(customers) patronises, the smiles of the adults do not stay for long, for soon it is back to the old grind~a long, lonely wait for the stork to patronise again

~~~
sorry that this wasn't clear enough. it's always good to have multiple eyes looking at things. well, back to the drawing board for this one .  

in any case, Diana, i sure enjoyed your interpretation!!

JamesMichael
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9 posted 2008-07-10 07:51 PM


Enjoyed...James
2islander2
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by the sea
10 posted 2008-07-13 02:28 AM


Hi, kaile, after reading Owl and your own comment I must say that your poem is more than accurate, it is really a photography of what happen also when arrive tourists, I'm very glad you took inspiration of it...From my point of view it's sad,however no one will get offended in the process, every one go away with his thoughts and do it again....

very nice and appreciated work

yann

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