Open Poetry #42 |
failing to get up |
Michael G Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579Nashville |
hell is a small place on earth that brings you to your knees as your heart is torn asunder while you wait to feel again. its a cold dark space transpired allowing you to dream of your failings in the afterlife, of how you came to be. you burn slow with desire as you walk amongst the damned forgiving your future transgressions while reliving the past again. hell is that slow motion pain that grips your heart and twists while you find yourself alone celebrating your hate. and slow is the action of the last moment you can see the eyes upon which you set your moment to be free. |
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© Copyright 2008 Michael G - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Yes, I agree. Impressive write! When awareness dawns of who we really are, we are out of hell. Love, Margherita |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Strong. Intense, even. ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Michael G, Some well placed strophe breaks, and caps wold keep this from all running together. Bobby |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Powerful piece, Michael. Ida |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I thought this was incredibly powerful poem. A |
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