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Open Poetry #42
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Senescence
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Senescence |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. An old freighter Tied up at dock On the Calumet River There is not a spot On its deck or hull Cargo hold interior That isn’t rust I think It will be very hard When the final stop is made And all that’s left Is the scrapper’s yard When the sun Rises and sets With little effect On consciousness Randomly immersed In past Present Or nothing Still for now The summer sky Is bright and blue A small white cloud Not far from shore Drifts across the sea . |
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| © Copyright 2008 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
A small white cloud not far from shore "Dissolves above the sea" Forgive my taking liberties! But your "drifting cloud" across the sea gives me goose bumps, and a sense of dissolving in time---what is life but hope and dissolution! This is another masterpiece! Thanks, Art |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
I like the other poet's ending a little better, but he's right about this being a masterpiece. Fine, fine wordsmithing. |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
John... I love your writing... love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
for me...the following is virtually a fine Zen-impressionistic 'poem' in its own right: "...The summer sky Is bright and blue A small white cloud Not far from shore Drifts across the sea" applause!! |
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