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Gunslinger
Senior Member

since 1999-10-09

Posts 901
TX, USA

0 posted 2008-01-26 06:09 PM

I've often tried to figure out-
Just where it all went wrong.
Just where I lost my vision;
And how I lost my song.
I used to be a dreamer.
My life was fantasy;
Oh, what an awful wakening,
To see as others see.
There was a girl who loved me.
To her I was a knight.
The agony I put her through...
Some wrongs you cannot right.
The saddest thing of all, I guess:
Is gazing into eyes,
That once were bright with laughter,
And wide with each surprise.
But now they're vacant windows-
So sad, and dead, and cold.
Gone the vibrancy of youth,
They're empty now and old.
Sometimes I'd like to find the grave,
Where that sweet soul was laid.
And lay down there, myself, and die,
And mark the ledger "Paid"!

Bobby Jordan
Member

since 2007-08-13

Posts 491
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-01-26 07:32 PM

Gunslinger,

Once again, a great rhyme scheme. The theme is worn, however it's interestingly done.

Bobby

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

2 posted 2008-01-26 08:04 PM

Some wrongs you cannot right

I'm not sure about that.. I think everyone deserves a second chance.. I like your heart words here John.... love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2008-01-27 02:21 AM

I think life is full of regrets, part of our learning process.
Ida

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2008-06-19 02:02 AM

"I've often tried to figure out-
Just where it all went wrong.
Just where I lost my vision;
And how I lost my song.
I used to be a dreamer.
My life was fantasy;
Oh, what an awful wakening,
To see as others see."

I know this feeling...

Well said, John...
It's always a pleasure to read you...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

5 posted 2008-06-19 02:20 AM

I love your poem, and my heart aches that you lost the woman you loved and that she lost her knight, but you certainly haven't lost your song - your poem is proof of that! And although you may not have realised all your dreams, you are still dreaming - and that is important for a poet and rodeo-rider.

- Owl

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