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Open Poetry #42
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Wishing on the Tides (Iambic Verse from the Poetry Workshop)
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Wishing on the Tides (Iambic Verse from the Poetry Workshop) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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This poem took me days to write, lots of frustration and one fine teacher (Balladeer) to help me find my way through meter. It's still tough for me sometimes, but I am learning a lot in the Poetry Workshop. It would be fun if others would dive in, but (on the other hand) I am digging the personal attention.  to Balladeer for pushing knowledge into my very thick head! Thank you.--------- Wishing on the Tides On whispers, breezes lift a longing wish to ocean fairies flying over shores. Some winds may carry couple's need for bliss; this wish on waves the lovers’ sighs implore. A mermaid, graceful, brushes ocean light; the pastels paint a vibrant shade this dawn. As dreamy aura soars off topaz light the currents wash her notes of plaintive song. While solo stretches over waters blue a longing draws her lover from the shore; she suffers growing need, as love is true. The ocean swelters, heated passion pours. With waters rolling, all is crystal clear; to take one to his lover’s saline home. The oceans swirl to show a love so pure. He lives with her in depth of frothing foam. The moon, sighs silver, watches from the sky, as music wells in duets shared in waves. Then, within stars, the magic reaches high the ocean fairies sprinkle 'wishing days'. ... Alison |
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| © Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Alison, The iambic pentameter works fairly well in this. Now you should move on to Elizabethan sonnets. Bobby |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
He's a great teacher, Alison - and that's coming from his F student!  Good job! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Alison, I admire you how you succeeded with patience to create this wonderful poem in "lambic verse". The music is there really and the content is very very captivating. Brava! and bravo to our dear Balladeer Master too! Love, Margherita  |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
It paints a wonderful picture in my mind. Nice poem. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Oh Alison, that is the best poem of yours that I have ever read, I loved it. Keep writing like that and I'll be an admirer for ever. Very well done. Love Lindsay |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
You did a fine job here, Alison Iam going to have to try that sometime, Right now I am trying to write a haiku. I have never written one before and I'm driving myself a little crazy. Ida |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Congratulations, Alison, on stretching your poetic wings! It would appear that Balladeer has an eager and talented student! ~ and I adored the subject matter! It was magical!  Love & Poetic Light, Linda xo |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
I wish I have studied english more to write as you do, dear Alison I have some difficulties to understand but I feel the beauty of your poem, un grand merci yann |
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simon Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440London, England |
I agree with all the others, it was certainly worth the time it took to write... |
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