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huddersfield
Junior Member

since 2003-12-29

Posts 25
huddersfield, England

0 posted 2008-05-19 05:40 PM

As you lay your eyes upon me,
Do not weep for me,
For soon I shall be by our Fathers side.
But weep you may for the people
Who have not had the chance for their eyes to lie upon me.
Let your tears multiply and act like mirrors
To spread my face to those
Whose hearts are empty and whose souls are wandering a path
That only leads back upon itself.
Let your tears be the ink,
Let your heart be the voice
And let your tongue share what I have shared with you in all our yesterdays,
And all I will have shared with you today,
Till my last breath forms my last word.
For I shall not leave you stranded on this hill,
I will guide your hearts to the table of men
So that they to can feast upon the love I have brought from our Father.
And this food you offer shall go unspoilt,
It will stay laid upon the table for those who come tomorrow.
So I say again to you, do not weep for me today
For I shall not die, I am with you for now and forever,
Have faith in my words
And I will help guide your hand down the path
That leads not into the eternal circle
But to our Fathers side.

The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

1 posted 2008-05-19 05:49 PM

I liked the spiritual feel to the poem especially the lines

"Let your tears be the ink,
Let your heart be the voice
And let your tongue share what I have shared with you in all our yesterdays"

Your diction was poignant and theme generally brilliant. The only suggestion I have, if I may, is to perhaps break it up into stanzas a little bit, but that's just my opinion.

~Jill

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2008-05-20 06:27 AM

A poignant invitation to be LOVE.

Love,
Margherita

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2008-05-20 12:27 PM

What a beautiful rendition of The Last Supper! I love it! Thank you. This is a keeper.

- Owl

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2008-05-22 07:28 PM

Nice...James

simon
Member

since 2008-01-14

Posts 440
London, England

5 posted 2008-05-23 07:30 AM

I really enjoyed this too...

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