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Open Poetry #42
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I Wait
| Open Poetry #42 |
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I Wait |
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Lincoln Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 62Earth 
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I Wait: The birds were singing in perfect harmony The sun rose in the east I looked in awe, As the sun peeped over the hilltops And I waited. I sat under the clear blue sky The sun beaming on my shoulders Infront of a beautiful lake With green grass all around me And I waited. The cool breaze went through my hair The sun set in the west The clouds reflected wondorous colors The picture that will never leave my thoughts And I waited. I can hear the cayotee howling I sit under the stars Watching the moon, My lover is watching to I wait for her. "When your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die." -Shannon Hoon |
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| © Copyright 2008 Lincoln Deyette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Lincoln, The idea is there. Here are a few corrections for you. "The birds were singing in perfect harmony The sun rose in the east I looked in awe, As the sun peeped over the hilltops And I waited. I sat under the clear blue sky The sun beaming on my shoulders Infront in front of a beautiful lake With green grass all around me And I waited. The cool breaze breeze went through my hair The sun set in the west The clouds reflected wondorous wondrous colors The picture that will never leave my thoughts And I waited. I can hear the cayotee coyote howling I sit under the stars Watching the moon, My lover is watching to I wait for her." Bobby |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
enjoyed the poem as much as bobby...you definitely have a poetic talent and i suspect bobby may feel the say way...since taking the time for his positive edit...good job! to both of you. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
nice writing Lincoln...I think we are actally alive when we wait. Yann |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Beautiful. There is the joy of anticipation. Love, Margherita |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I trust your wait was well worth it! ~ As they say, "Anticipation is half the fun!" ~ and if you had to wait anywhere, yours was in the perfect setting! Simply beautiful!!!  EA |
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Lincoln Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 62Earth |
Thank you all for you comments  !!!I will fix those spelling errors "When your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die." -Shannon Hoon |
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