Open Poetry #42 |
Safety line |
rad802 Member
since 2008-04-19
Posts 279KY U.S.A. |
It's been so long I don't know what to do You're so far gone what good is me and you What good is me and you Could I be wasting my time are you still cutting on my safety line Remember to seek the hidden wonders Embrace all of life though clouds we're under Remember to laugh that's what we really loved to share My peace undone I've run from net to noose None have won few have declared a truce Few have declared a truce And though I'm fit to resign Don't think I'll test the waters of lang syne It's better to seek the hidden wonders Embrace all of life though clouds I'm under And seek to belong to something purer than we shared Rick Delmonico |
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© Copyright 2008 RAD802 - All Rights Reserved | |||
shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
lot of intense emotion and you made some excellent word choices for sharing how you feel. I would suggest a little more work with some work on line structure and consistency in flow of thinking--sometimes I couldn't follow you. It is a great start with real potential Keep working on it. sharyn |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"And seek to belong to something purer than we shared" Interesting line in a thought-provoking write...gonna read it again... |
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