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Open Poetry #42

Battlefields of desire

rad802
Member

since 2008-04-19

Posts 279
KY U.S.A.

0 posted 2008-05-02 05:47 PM

Are these the weapons of desire from the battlefields where we once played
And such a method to conspire in one hand a flower in the other a blade

But your soul's still speaking through your eyes so you look away when telling lies
And your friends who've long since made their peace now occupy their enemies

Out on the battle-line
that's when you're going to find
the strength to go on
In the heat of the fight
you gotta know you're right
the chance to retreat will be gone

And I look for someone to believe in across the wasteland our eyes meet
Your sweet words sooth me I receive them mixed with the bitter taste of new defeat

Cause your soul's still speaking through your eyes so you look away when telling lies
And unless I've missed my guess I'll find that you've left no prisoners behind

Rick Delmonico

[This message has been edited by rad802 (05-03-2008 10:13 AM).]

rad802
Member

since 2008-04-19

Posts 279
KY U.S.A.

1 posted 2008-05-02 06:41 PM

error in line 4
And your friends who've long since made their peace now occupy their enemies

Rick Delmonico

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

2 posted 2008-05-03 05:30 AM

Your write well and expressively in couplets. I think you have found your style. Thanks for sharing
sharyn

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2008-05-03 07:23 AM

Enjoyed a lot Rad, but I would have make four lines with two.

have a nice day

yann

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