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Open Poetry #42

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TinaTrivett
Senior Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 569

0 posted 2008-05-01 10:15 AM

When I told you I was leaving,
it was so you'd call me back.
Not so you could shut the door,
and peek out through the crack.

And watch me holding little hands,
to walk away in tears.
Just how DO I get back,
the last damn twenty years?

© Copyright 2008 Tina Trivett - All Rights Reserved

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

1 posted 2008-05-01 10:21 AM

Enjoyed it from the beginning to the end, how could I come back from 20 years ?

yann

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

2 posted 2008-05-01 11:13 AM

The graphic and the poem combine to speak with a profound eloquence! Alas, time lost in moments or years is, irretrievable . . .
I can understand how the heart is moved to utter a bitter expletive!

The best to you,

Art

Marge Tindal

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Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2008-05-01 12:58 PM

Tina~
This cries ... no, it screams of the pain of loss~

*Huglets* to you~
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - [email protected]

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

4 posted 2008-05-01 02:43 PM

Wow, pretty powerful, Tina.
Ida

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2008-05-01 02:50 PM

You don't.

But you DO go forward, and make the next 20
count for more than the first 20 might ever
imagine!

Larrysmom
Senior Member

since 2008-04-03

Posts 533
Florida, USA

6 posted 2008-05-01 11:35 PM

Wow, this is so sad... You expressed so much with so few words. Excellent.

Tammy<333

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

7 posted 2008-05-03 03:19 PM

very powerful write and sad..

I like the ending too

ARCTIC WIND

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

8 posted 2008-05-04 12:23 PM

Very tragic and moving. I also liked the ending the best. Your voice can through powerfully as you wrote about this experience.
sharyn

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