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Open Poetry #42
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Dead Zone
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Dead Zone |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. Sunlight streams In the afternoon Through partially Curtained windows The dust Of many years Drifts now Like fragile lives In the still air There is a smell Of old clothes On the table The remnants Of a partially Eaten meal Outside dragonflies Hover above Un-mown grasses In summer’s shadows Spider webs Under wooden eaves . [This message has been edited by Huan Yi (04-26-2008 10:40 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Sad and depressing and yet...the words of a skilled poet. Ida |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
John. In the following strophe: "There is a smell Of old clothes On the table The remnants Of a partially Eaten meal" I'd separate out the first two lines into their own strophe. Bobby |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
empty and undisturbed. sad, but beautifully penned. |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
v. well done! I am particularly fond of the beginning: "Sunlight streams In the afternoon Through partially Curtained windows The dust Of many years Drifts now Like fragile lives In the still air" serious applause!! |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
well written and nicely descriptive...loved this line best: "The dust Of many years Drifts now Like fragile lives In the still air" |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Thanks Everyone Bob, you're right Thanks again John PS The title refers back to the opening music of the movie, which starred Christopher Walken, from a novel by Stephen King. . |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
always wonderful. yann |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
This reminds me of returning to the home where I grew up. I think, John, that is why I love your poetry. You leave it open for me to see the picture that you create - and my mind sees it from my memory cells. A |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
truly awesome talent you have. Thank you for the pleasure of reading your work sharyn |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
a pleasure to read indeed |
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